[Bvasquez2523]

My child is 8 years old and her biological father has not seen her since she was 7 months old! She has my husband last name and doesn't know she has another father! How do I get her biological father's name off the birth certificate, without her having to know that my husband is not her father?

[J_9]

To achieve your goal, your husband will have to legally adopt her. This means you will have to get in touch with the bio father and he will have to agree to a termination of parental rights.

[Bvasquez2523]

But they will tell her that he's not her dad ?

[J_9]

You are doing your child a terrible disservice by not revealing her heritage. She has a right to know who her biological father is. There will come a time, when she is an adult and is in a family way, that she will need to know the medical history of her mother AND father. Lying to her, as you are, will only create a wedge between the two of you when she finds out. And she will, I assure you.

[Synnen]

I disagree with ANYONE hiding a child's identity--which is what you are doing. You are making a mistake by not telling her NOW, so that she can take it in and make it part of her BEFORE she is old enough to feel betrayed and lied to by you about her life. And hey... if you can't tell her the truth about THIS, why should she trust you about anything else?

Believe me, she WILL find out some day. If it doesn't come from you, it could mean that she will hate you and not want anything to do with you.

[J_9]

Children learn by example. If you don't want her to grow up and lie to you, why do you think it's right to lie to her?

[Bvasquez2523]

Well thanks for all your concern but my child is autistic n she would not understand

[Wondergirl]

Well thanks for all your concern but my child is autistic n she would not understand

How severe? (One of mine is autistic and would understand.) Is your daughter getting help for the autism? Maybe in the future she will want/need to know who her real father is.

[AK lawyer]

But they will tell her that he's not her dad ?

It varies from state to state, but usually the court will require that a child of that age, autistic or not, be asked whether she consents to the adoption.

And, if and when he adopts her, he will be her dad legally, and for all intents and purposes except genetically.

[ScottGem]

First, the only way to get a man's name off the birth certificate is to prove he was not the biological father. Something you can't do. You can, however, have the BC amended or appended to make your husband the legal father by adoption.

As noted, whether they need to tell the child is up to local law. But I agree with the others you WILL need to tell her at some point.

[AK lawyer]

First, the only way to get a man's name off the birth certificate is to prove he was not the biological father. Something you can't do. You can, however, have the BC amended or appended to make your husband the legal father by adoption.

As noted, whether they need to tell the child is up to local law. But I agree with the others you WILL need to tell her at some point.

In many states, when a child is adopted, the birth certificate you get when you order an official copy will be different after the adoption than before. Before, it would show the biological father; after, it would show the adoptive father (i.e.: the mother's husband). Whether you call it amended, or revised, or whatever, that is who it will show: the "new" father, not the "old" one.

So if, for example, the child is grown and orders her birth certificate, she should (mental disabilities aside) be able to put two and two together and deduce that something is not right (If she knows that OP was married to her "father" some eight years after her date of birth, for example).