[SummerRain]

Hi , I'm from Nova Scotia . Canada and looking for some answers to questions if anyone has any for me , it would be muchly apperciated... Ok here goes , approx 5 yrs ago I started living with a man that has 2 children from a previous relationship , they went to court to settle on child support which they had supposely agreed on , but to make a long story short she tricked him and showed up with a lawyer and took him for a ride... at that time he was making approx 38 thousand a year gross , before taxes , UI or anything was taken out... his payments were 555.00 monthly , plus , dental , medical and outfitting them , which became too much for us ,that's when she contacted child enformento have his wages granished , which they were granishing 139.00 a week , didn't matter if he made 140.00 that week she got her 139.00 and we were left with a dollar needless to say you can't survive that way... so now he is making less money and this time he is taking her back to court to have his payments lowered so he will be paying approx 300.00 a month , I have no problem with dads looking after their children , I feel they should... but this woman does not work , the children are old enough to take care of themselves after school 14 & 12... right now she has a new granish on him 25% of any monies he makes , wages , UI, income tax... Him and I both go to work , and I have a daughter that lives home which I am legally resposible for and we cannot make ends meet , we feel if were going to both go to work and pay for the children they should be living with us , I believe they are not benfitting from the money we pay her ,(im ashamed to pick them up at school , I wouldn't send my daughter out to play in the yard with the clothes they wear)she has certain "habits" I feel the money we give her is not for her habits , get a job... in may she is going to austraila to see a guy she met on the net , and wants the dad to sign papers that she's not abandining them , then in August she's taking the girls to austraila as well for 6 weeks... I feel the children would be better off with us , I know there mom loves them , but its time they start coing 1st , I honestly feel she should be working... so what do you do , do you go for custody and give them a normal health envirment to live in , or let things keep going the way they are , is it wrong to take children from their mother , I'm very unsure about a lot of things and really just looking for advice... its been quite stressful on our relationship causes plenty of fight , I'm getting very tired of the situation... I know some people are thinking why stay , I have people ask me that everyday but its hard to walk away... theres more I could go on about but I'm sure you getting tired of reading... Hugs to You all Summer

[robc68fb]

I'm a dad in kind of a similar situation. Canadian laws I'm sure are a little different than here in the states. In my opinion, I would seek legal help & take her back to court to get things at least to a "fair" level. Unfortunately, the lawyers know the system better than we do, & most people can get rolled over by an attorney in court for that reason alone. Get an experienced lawyer.
And, also seek a attorney from a different area than where his ex's attorney is from.
The attorney I had when I went through my divorce was from the same town as my ex's attorney. To say the least, the two of them were a little too friendly if you know what I mean... so I fired mine & got one from another county. Things went much better after that. But, when I got divorced the issues were not child issues, they were property & money issues. I got what I thought was rightfully mine. It cost me some $$, but it was worth it to keep my house & other property that was mine to begin with. Hope this helps, best of luck to you.

[dealingwithacrazyloon]

Summer... I feel your pain. I am about to go through a similar situation. My husband had a one night stand with the mother of his child 6 years ago and she has just now sued him for child support. We have always tried to make it an amicable situation for the child's sake but she quit letting us see her when I became pregnant with my daughter and we stopped paying her. She also lost her job 8 months ago and decided to sue us for child support. She works at 4 different bars now and has a college degree. Anyway, we always told her that we would not try to go after custody but now that she has done this it opens up the gate for us to do so. I also feel like the child would be better off with us. She is never at home and she is dating someone who is nowhere close to being ready to settle down and raise a family, and she still lives with her mother, who I might add has more say so in the child's life than her own father. She never bathes her and every time we pick her up she is wearing clothes that are two sizes too small and she looks like she has not bathed or washed her hair in a week. It is really sad. They also have a dog that is as big as a calf that lives in the house with them and my husband says the house smells like urine when he picks her up. Anyway, it is a very sad situation and I do not feel guilty in the least for going after custody. I do not want to give this person half of what my husband makes for the next 18 years because I know exactly what she will do with the money. She has already made the comment that she can no longer smoke because she doesn't have the money. If the situation were reversed we would not want or expect one dime from her, but to have to take food out of my daughter's mouth to give to support her habits for the next 18 years is more than I can stomach. Why she just doesn't let the child live with us is beyond me. She could party as she wishes and continue to screw up her life and at least the daughter would have a chance at growing up normal and not winding up pregnant when she is 16. Sorry for the rambling but I just wanted you to know you are not alone!