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Suddenlylost · May 18, 2014, 02:47 AM

We live in California, My husband and I have been married 17 years. We have one child and we have been living in his mothers house for years.

He has abused used me over the 17 years and last month, he abused me again. But then he called the police and had me removed and I was told not to ever come back. They made me leave, and they kept my son. His mother agreed with my husband, the house is in her name. I have been homeless ever since and they will not open the door or answer the phone when I call. I have no money, no job, and no family to turn to. The shelters are always full. It's been over a month and still nothing from them. No response at all.

Was this legal for them to do this to me? I'm really emotionally messed up over this and I'm suicidal. I have nothing suddenly and I'm just lost and very hurt.

Please answer my question and help me figure this out. Any advice would be helpful.

Thank you.

ScottGem · May 18, 2014, 04:39 AM

Not sure how legal this was. Generally, the police will not do this unless there is a threat of violence. Who told you not to return? You cannot be thrown out of the marital home without a court order.

What you need to do is find a woman's support group (the shelter's should help) and file for divorce (assuming he hasn't already).

ma0641 · May 20, 2014, 05:57 AM

Seems like there is something missing here. "He abused you" yet you were made to leave? Police don't just throw you out of the house and say get lost. Who is the "they" that kept your son? What haven't we been told?

smoothy · May 20, 2014, 06:24 AM

Sounds like her and the husband are living in his mothers house... though its not clear if she (the mother and owner of the house) still lives there too, that would make them tenants.

I also don't think we are getting the whole story or all of the facts. I think there is a LOT thats intentionally being left out. Call it a gut feeling.

I also find it extremely odd that she doesn't have a single friend or relative that would take her in so she wouldn't be living on the street even for a short while. A lot of things are not adding up here.

talaniman · May 20, 2014, 06:43 AM

What state or county, or country are you in? Its not a question of if he can do what he did, as he has already done it. You can apply for state/county/city assistance to help get you through this and even if the shelters are full, they can guide you or refer you to help.

In any event, DO NOT TRY TO RETURN to his mothers house, as its time to rebuild, and regroup, on your own and away from his influence. Not an easy road at all, but standing on your own will be a lot better than what you have come from and the possibility it will happen again.

Not easy, but necessary. What state are you in?

J_9 · May 20, 2014, 06:48 AM

This is based in California.

AK lawyer · May 20, 2014, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

...
I also find it extremely odd that she doesn't have a single friend or relative that would take her in so she wouldn't be living on the street even for a short while. ...

Not at all odd. Wife-abusers typically discourage their wives from having any friends and from keeping connections with relatives. It's all a part of the same control mechanism.