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    jaygirl123's Avatar
    jaygirl123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 2, 2014, 09:55 PM
    Married for 3 years
    I've been married for 3 yrs together with him for 9 yrs. He's never stayed out all night! I've been married before, I have 2 children my daughter is 19 going to college this year, my son is 16 and is very disruptive in school, and even though he is dropped off every morning to school, he skips school. He got in trouble with the police last night. We had to pick him up at a youth facility late last night at 1 am. Now my husband went to work came home took a shower said he was going to get a beer and never came home. I've been texting him. He responded by saying he has to think and will be home tomorrow! What do I do?
    strawberrylolly's Avatar
    strawberrylolly Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    May 2, 2014, 10:33 PM
    Personally, I just think he's stressed out from your son and he just needs a breather. Let him take it and when he gets back home discuss it with him and even discuss how you guys are going to fix the problem with your son.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #3

    May 3, 2014, 04:25 AM
    A night out, is good sometimes, This is not his son, and the stress is harder to deal with.

    What is the plan to deal with the child ? Also, did one consider leaving him in lock up a little longer and not just getting him out, right away ?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    May 3, 2014, 05:48 AM
    You give him what he asked for and take it up when he returns and rests and is ready to address the issue. I would imagine he has much anger over this situation with his step son. As are you.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    May 3, 2014, 06:27 AM
    I don't think bailing on your family in a time of crisis should be optional.

    You've been together 9 years, and IS the father figure to your children, and your son needs him, just as much as he needs you. Shame on him for just taking a break, when the family needs him the most.

    Had YOU just left on your own, and abandoned your family, answers would be different I think.

    He may not be your son's biological father, but the way of the western world, with the high divorce rate, and blended families,it is very common, that partners raising children together, are not necessarily the biological partners. Not to mention that he chose to take on that role, and has been a major influence, a parental influence on your son, since your son was 7 years old.

    I'd be roaring mad had my partner just taken off when I needed him most.

    Obviously he needs help coping, and your son needs help addressing the issues that probably are just under the surface that may explain some of his behavior. I urge family counseling for all of you. And immediately.

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