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derek562 · Apr 27, 2014, 06:45 PM

Scored a date with a really sweet women. I text and talk to her for the first week and her interest peaked really high. She says if things go well like we hope for she's all mine. Later that week we went out and had a great time. We spent 4 hours together she didn't look like she wanted to end it so I called it a night and kissed her. We really clicked and she agreed. 2 hours later she texted me and she had a great time tonight and many more nights to come. We scheduled another date for Weds. For the second week she was busy so we didn't have much communication and on Weds. something came up so I had to cancel and postpone till next Weds. I'm trying not to sound needy so I didn't call or text her for 4 days. I'm planning on talking to her tomorrow before our second date. I'm kind of worried because she didn't text or call me for the 4 days. I avoided contact. From the start I always acted busy and I'm always the one to end the conversation and say I'll ttyl.

odinn7 · Apr 27, 2014, 07:10 PM

Your not wanting to sound needy is also making you sound like an idiot that doesn't care. Stop playing games.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 27, 2014, 07:13 PM

When you play games things don't work they way you want. Games are for kids.

derek562 · Apr 27, 2014, 09:28 PM

So what should I do? I text her earlier that I woke up with her on my mind and that she can pick the spot we meet. She reply "Ok :)" Which is why I try to not look needy. Her interest seem to vanish 3 days after our first date. Im not playing games I'm just trying to not mess this up.

derek562 · Apr 28, 2014, 12:55 AM

Went on a date and had an amazing time. Date lasted 4 hours with me calling it a night. I managed to kiss her on the cheeck and she text me back 2 hours after to say she had a great time. Im afraid of having her loose interest so I am careful on how much I text her and I am always the one to end conversations and look busy. We schedualed a second date this upcooming week.

Here is where I get worried, after we schedualed second date communication has sunked. She would not reply to some of my text and when she does it's a few letters like "ok:)". Its not like before were she reply with full sentances. So out of fear I haven't initiate contact for 4 days because I don't want her to feel like I'm needy. Our date is 3 days away but I'm not feeling the same momentum as before. Is she losing interest?

joypulv · Apr 28, 2014, 02:54 AM

You seem to have no clue that her actions are partly in reaction to your actions. It's very possible that she was suffering for those 4 days you were trying to act so un-needy, and forced herself to not care anymore. Good grief! I think your only solution is to tell her the truth - you really like her but went too far overboard trying to act casual, and really did want to see her again right away. You are going to have to work at this.

smoothy · Apr 28, 2014, 05:10 AM

You've only been on ONE date... you don't have a relationship to be worried about... it is what it is... and its obvious she wasn't impresed on the first date... so what you do is pull up your big boy pants and move on with your life and find someone else.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2014, 05:13 AM

Going 4 days without any contact and being disappointed that she didn't contact you is crazy. It shows no interests on your part and that's what she wants. It' a fine line between showing you are interested and being needy, so be brave and show enough interest for her to look forward to seeing you. How simple is a text good morning have a nice day? Imagine what she think after 4 days and no contact.

Just stay in touch is the idea. Busy for a say is no big deal,but for 4? No way.

Oliver2011 · Apr 28, 2014, 05:39 AM

You are way over thinking this. It's been one date and you are already playing games. No you're not doing this right. Let it be natural. You can communicate without sounding needy.

derek562 · Apr 28, 2014, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Going 4 days without any contact and being disappointed that she didn't contact you is crazy. It shows no interests on your part and that's what she wants. It' a fine line between showing you are interested and being needy, so be brave and show enough interest for her to look forward to seeing you. How simple is a text good morning have a nice day? Imagine what she think after 4 days and no contact.

Just stay in touch is the idea. Busy for a say is no big deal,but for 4? No way.

You are right. It can't beuh the first date because she did a lot like made plans for the second date and asked me to attend her birthday party and even hosting near were I live. I kind of messed a up few days later by asking to see her again before our second date. She was busy and moved our date to Thursday. Which I had cancelled. Im going to see her on our second date in 2 days. I hope she will still be attract because if not she would have cancelled.

joypulv · Apr 28, 2014, 06:49 AM

'Interested' is a much better word than 'attracted' at this point.
Please realize that you may have many good connections with women that don't get past a few dates, as one or both of you decide that you aren't going to work out.

Why aren't you taking the suggestion to keep in contact once a day with a quick email or text? No one likes people who text you every 5 minutes, but once a day shows that you are thinking about her. Just saying 'Really looking forward to our date!' means a lot.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2014, 08:05 AM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ck-782620.html

Just date when possible and have fun getting to know someone. It' NOT realistic to think you will go from being dumped to romantic bliss. She is a stranger to learn about, so don't even make her your next fantasy romance at this point. I wouldn't even structure my whole life around figuring out if she was interested or attracted because in the grand scheme of things with interacting with the opposite sex, feelings can change, change back, or change again.

How the hell would she know or be willing to give you what you want, and how you want it so soon, because you my friend are a stranger to her also. I doubt if she gets her hopes as high as your and that would be dumb now wouldn't it? Be yourself and wait and see and don't assume or presume you know what's on her mind.

You did cancel a second date, and that's enough for her to be a bit more cautious any way. This is just a checkout period for you both, and expect it to be unsure, and uncertain for a while. Have fun and be ready if it leads NOWHERE, for whatever reason. You do have a life that you enjoy so this is a small part of it.

Just go with the flow. NO GAMES!! You will either click, or you don't. RELAX and enjoy the ride while it lasts. One date at a TIME. Whats the hurry? Find out who you are dealing with before you get attached to a fantasy in your head.

odinn7 · Apr 28, 2014, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by derek562

Im not playing games I'm just trying to not mess this up.

From what you described, yes, you are playing games. Trying to act casual and not needy and not calling her to prove this to her...that is a game.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2014, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by odinn7

From what you described, yes, you are playing games. Trying to act casual and not needy and not calling her to prove this to her...that is a game.

I fully agree, trying too hard NOT to mess up, is the best way to mess up.

derek562 · Apr 28, 2014, 03:18 PM

Thank you guys so much. I now have an idea of what to do and will do daily quick sweet messages. On another not. Im planning on getting her flowers on our next date along with a card to explain why I was so busy and been ge gone for 4 days.I was on a comedown from MDMA and needed to recover. She knows I do it and she does it . I gave her some pills on our first date because she wanted to try it. Which is the real readon I cancelled our second date. Ima also note that I'm quitting it but will get her if she wants it.

smoothy · Apr 28, 2014, 04:09 PM

Keep up with the drugs and you might find yourself on the receiving end of a prison romance, by MUCH larger man.

DIAMONDD88 · Apr 28, 2014, 04:40 PM

If you have to constantly think how to do things, it's not worth it.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2014, 04:44 PM

I would hate to think that's all she wanted you for. Wouldn't be the first time that's happened. I really don't like the flavor of this nor should you. It can't be legal, NO WAY.

smoothy · Apr 28, 2014, 05:08 PM

Its not... MDMA is ecstasy or even Molly... which is the way to go if one desires to do prison time on drug charges... and in the case of Molly... nomination for the Darwin Award. And a lifetime whining about why they can't get this job or that job ever again.

odinn7 · Apr 28, 2014, 05:24 PM

Originally Posted by derek562

Thank you guys so much. I now have an idea of what to do and will do daily quick sweet messages. On another not. Im planning on getting her flowers on our next date along with a card to explain why I was so busy and been ge gone for 4 days.I was on a comedown from MDMA and needed to recover. She knows I do it and she does it . I gave her some pills on our first date because she wanted to try it. Which is the real readon I cancelled our second date. Ima also note that I'm quitting it but will get her if she wants it.

I am no longer interested in helping with this problem. You just added a whole new problem to this mix that you conveniently left out earlier so every one of us that took the time to try and help you just wasted our time. What a great relationship you guys will be able to have.

Good luck.