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    flower81's Avatar
    flower81 Posts: 303, Reputation: 7
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    #1

    Apr 4, 2007, 01:17 AM
    Work conference
    My fiancé went to Milan on a 3 day work conference, there in all about 30 IT technicians for all our Europe.
    Anyway on the 2 nights he was there he was out drinking till 4am with one of the guys there, and my fiancé told me, that they started chatting to 2 foreign girls.
    My fiancé said he spoke to them mostly about me.

    Anyway he said that then they walked back to the hotel with the girls and then the 2 other girls carried on walking to their hotel.

    I was fine with it.
    Then I started thinking a few nights ago I am being naïve being OK with it and trusting and believing what he said?
    Ulysses's Avatar
    Ulysses Posts: 47, Reputation: 9
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    #2

    Apr 4, 2007, 01:26 AM
    Hi, I guess as long as he tells you, he is being honest with you. Might be worse if he didn't.
    Clough's Avatar
    Clough Posts: 26,677, Reputation: 1649
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    #3

    Apr 4, 2007, 01:32 AM
    Sounds like you need to speak to your fiancé about how you feel. It would be okay. He did, after all, tell you about what was happening. If he was trying to hide something then I don't think that he would have told you anything at all. So, I would not worry about his doings over there other than you need to speak with him about how you feel.

    I would like to think that it was positive things about which he spoke with the foreign girls concerning you. My guess is that it was.
    flower81's Avatar
    flower81 Posts: 303, Reputation: 7
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    #4

    Apr 4, 2007, 02:43 AM
    And what should I tell him.. "am i naive for being ok with your drinkin session overseas with a guy and 2 foreign girls"?
    What should I tell him?

    Yes of course it was positive...
    He told me he said to the belgian guy that what we have is great with lots of trust!
    Ulysses's Avatar
    Ulysses Posts: 47, Reputation: 9
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    #5

    Apr 4, 2007, 02:54 AM
    Do you trust him in the first place? Has this been an issue in the past?
    Maybe it's worth telling him that you are confused and unsure, communication is the key).
    I am not a relashionships expert though, you may wish to hear more opinions.
    flower81's Avatar
    flower81 Posts: 303, Reputation: 7
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    #6

    Apr 4, 2007, 03:12 AM
    Yaaa I do very much! And no it hasn't happened in the past!

    But he was overseas with people I don't know. Chattin to foreign girls... Well he said this belgain started chatted to them...
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #7

    Apr 4, 2007, 03:56 AM
    I think that he told you rules out anything!

    Unfortuneatley in life we cannot keep our loved ones from talking to other girls and I believe that telling each other if you are out what you get up to is a good healthy thing - you need to have trust in a relastionship otherwise you will always feel unrest when you are out alone and that's not a good thing - of course we still feel a little jealous - but hey at the end of the day he is with you

    He told you what happened - when he didn't have to so that's good that he feels he can tell you and you won't go mad
    rol's Avatar
    rol Posts: 804, Reputation: 162
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    #8

    Apr 4, 2007, 04:33 AM
    DEFINITELY do NOT tell him "am i naive for being ok with your drinkin session overseas with a guy and 2 foreign girls"?
    "

    He told you about it, so forget it!!
    Of course he is going to talk to people while he is there! Plus he told you that the belgian talked to them first.
    Trust goes a long way in relationships!!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Apr 4, 2007, 04:45 AM
    Then I started thinking a few nights ago I am being naïve being OK with it and trusting and believing what he said?
    Don't let doubt dwell in your mind and cloud your judgement or taint your feelings of trust, as the fact he told you is a testament to how he trusts and feels about you. Try and forget it.
    flower81's Avatar
    flower81 Posts: 303, Reputation: 7
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    #10

    Apr 4, 2007, 04:55 AM
    So I guess seeing as he told me the event of that evening, it rules out that he could have cheated or snogged any 1 of those girls?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Apr 4, 2007, 05:06 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by flower81
    so i guess seeing as he told me the event of that evening, it rules out that he could have cheated or snogged any 1 of those girls?
    Why let yourself worry about it? The more you let it live in your mind the bigger it gets. Stop doing this to yourself dear, and let this go. He probably hasn't given it a thought since he told you, and you are stuck on your own fears and insecurities. Cut that out and move on.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #12

    Apr 5, 2007, 12:46 AM
    Tal is right... again

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