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    SSSms's Avatar
    SSSms Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 8, 2014, 11:25 AM
    Not so special?
    My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now. It's nothing like other relationships. It's strong, we are so crazy over each other from the beginning. Around 3 months ago she had to leave the country to study. We're always on the phone 24/7, literally we sleep together over viber and all. We don't have other friends or hobbies and I never complained. I love it because all I care about is here and that's the only things I'm excited about(her). We always say how special we are and all like no other relationship, but I get disappointed almost every day.

    Latest two disappointments we were watching a movie over Skype and she was like this guy is such a turn off. I was shocked because she always tells me how I'm the only turn on for her and goes on for hours. I got hurt she got mad. Another disappointment today. She was texting me after class about how excited over a book she went looking for (I'm dying I'm dying I want it! With heart faces emojis). First she hates books. 2nd that's normal for anyone else but I told her that I'm wrong because I'm over obsessed with you that I never get excited over anything literally but you. She's like of course it's not wrong I feel the same nothing interests me and she got mad that I thought I was being too much. It never cross my mind to die over anything at all other than her and express with heart faces about anything.

    We're not so special I guess, not unique. I have to adjust to being normal and healthy with her. Because I thought it was healthy because it's mutual. I know anyone would read this and think we are wrong for being just into each other but I'm a dreamer and I don't need life things or hobbies to get entertained. I know these relationships only exist in cartoons like up or Tim Burton.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Apr 8, 2014, 11:36 AM
    Hard to come down off that HONEYMOON high huh? That's normal. Its not easy but you have to make mature adjustments and you could use a healthy life without her.

    If not then you are just another junky chasing a fix.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Apr 8, 2014, 11:43 AM
    Really... its nothing like other relationships?. only a year...


    Know the difference between lust and love? Clearly not... you are too young to know the differences... yes it is really that obvious.

    Something you are going to learn... dreams are fine when you are sleeping... they have little place in real life.

    You probibly won't listen because you think how would any of us understand... the fact is we know this because we have all been through it... and we have the benefit of maturity, experience and hindsight.

    You have to waste time playing around in facke relationships like this so you will know real love when you finally are mature enough to recognise it... and to know what a good relationship is when you finally have one... you can't recognise a good one until you've had a bunch of bad ones of different types.

    In a few years you are going to be looking back and laughing at yourself for believing this was something serious.

    Oh, about the mutual thing not meaning its good. People mutually shoot up with Heroin every day... nobody is going to say that means it was a smart or good idea... people mutually decide to commit suicide for some stupid reason as well... that doesn't mean its right or good either.

    Like Tal says....hard to come back to reality from that honeymoon high of lust.....liust is like a sugar rush....comes on quick...and eventually fades just as quick too......and leaves you with a headache afterwards.
    SSSms's Avatar
    SSSms Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 8, 2014, 12:13 PM
    I'm not a kid and I'm very mature and everyone knows that about me I'm 23 and I've had 6 other relationships before
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Apr 8, 2014, 12:20 PM
    So you say... did you read what you wrote... people act and talk like that when they are 15 or 16... not when they are 26.

    If you were 26 all of this should be apparent to you. If you had 6 real previous relationships...this would also be apparent.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #6

    Apr 8, 2014, 12:22 PM
    Ew. You may think you don't need other things in your life to stimulate but you would be wrong. Your obsession is causing the relationship to be stale. There's no excitement about seeing you because you're always there. There's no giddiness over getting to talk to you because you're always there.

    "We don't have other friends or hobbies" If you want this relationship to last you need to have other friends and other hobbies outside of her. Obsessive behaviors are not attractive.

    I am in love for I hope the last time in my life with the most amazing person I've ever known. My partner has hobbies and friends and so do I. It keeps the relationship very healthy.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #7

    Apr 8, 2014, 12:23 PM
    You're a head case if you got upset over the comment she made during the movie...and because she was excited about a book. I mean, really? You were upset because she was excited over finding a book? Childish really. Too bad the only thing she is allowed to be excited about is you...wow.

    I hope she realizes this is not normal and finds someone that doesn't try to control her thoughts and emotions.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
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    #8

    Apr 8, 2014, 12:33 PM
    Most adults know how to use proper punctuations to separate sentences. (Sorry, pet peeve.)

    Quote Originally Posted by SSSms View Post
    I'm not a kid and I'm very mature and everyone knows that about me I'm 23 and I've had 6 other relationships before
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #9

    Apr 8, 2014, 12:36 PM
    I am going to be blunt: Obsession is not love.

    You need other forms of entertainment to keep you from over reacting to the very normal personal growth your girlfriend is exhibiting.

    It is okay to get excited about things that interest you. It is how we grow as individuals and bring fresh energy into a relationship. If you refuse to grow and adapt then you are going to stagnate and so will the relationship.

    She isn't a storybook character or statue that stays the same. She is a living breathing human. Expect her to grow and change like one.

    Special and unique relationships are the ones that adapt to the changes that living brings. Dreams are great but they need to adapt to real life or you will lose her and yourself.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Apr 9, 2014, 07:25 AM
    Good luck in your UNIQUE relationship since you obviously have it under control and need no help or advice from anyone else.

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