[twarren71]

My friend had a daughter with a man who later nearly strangled her to death and served 4+years in prison for the crime.They were unmarried.This man has now filed for visitation with his biological child, but my friend desperately does not want this. She had recently arranged for a private visit between the biological father and her daughter with the stipulation that he must not announce himself as "dad". He at first agreed, then rejected the offer. The biological father has also requested that visitations be conducted at his parents house, which is also undesired by the mother. The child in question now calls another man daddy. The child is five years old and only knows the non biological father.Can visitation be avoided? Are there any precedents involving similar cases?

[ScottGem]

Probably not. People change and the court is likely to allow supervised visitation, though not more than that until he can prove he is not a danger. She can ask the court to thoroughly check the father out, review his prison record, have him see an analyst etc.

[talaniman]

The courts are for people who cannot resolve whatever issues they have between them, so one of them has to go to court. Your friend shouldn't even talk to him unless it's in front of a judge. But obviously the child will have to know the truth in whatever age appropriate manner also.

I would imagine that's a tricky balance with plenty of pressure from the stepdad, and bio grandparents, mom and dad with the all bad history together, and above all, the best interest of the child, lost in everyone else's agenda. A big very personal mess. I see no easy solution without court intervention instigated by either mom or dad, the real dad.

Getting legal advice may be the best suggestion you could give your friend.

[stinawords]

You said that the father filed for visitation. So, your friend needs to show up at the hearing. She can argue that she is afraid for her child because of his past. However, it is true that people change and his time has been served. I don't see him getting more than supervised visitation at first. But I imagine that he will be able to get supervised visitation. This could last a few months or a few years. It is possible that the judge will grant more visitation in time.

Is the step father actually a step father or a long term boyfriend? The fact that the mother let the child believe that the other man was the father while knowing he wasn't won't (at least in my area) look good for her in front of the judge.

First thing first though is to make sure she shows up on the court date. She may want to consult with a local attorney before the court date as well to have representation with her. Especially if the father has a lawyer.