[lacye1emeana]

OK yesterday I asked about having my husband adopt my son. What is going on now the father of my son has contacted his school and wants to get all the info about my son and his schooling. To include grades, class activities, home info, numbers, etc. like I said yesterday he has not see our son in about two years. The last time we spoke was after I picked him up from his bio dad in July of 2005. We agreed to sent up a time and date to come go back to Texas and workout some type of agreement for him to see our son. Then he went to jail for beating up his girlfriend at the time. That was the last time we spoke. So yes he knew we would be in Louisiana and no I did not give him our address because we lost contact after he went to jail. Now he has found out where we are and wants to see our son. But still does not want to pay child support (which we have a court order for). Oh and I also did not contact the courts to let them know of my move to louisana. My husband is in the military and we did not really have time to go to the courts and let them know. Yes I should have but did not. Anyone have any thoughts?

[shygrneyzs]

Yes, lots of thoughts.

1. You need to contact the court where you lived and notify them of your move.
2. You need to contact the Child Support Enforcment Agency and notify them of your move and of the contact of your ex and the fact that you have not received back child support or current child supprt and ask why not?
3. Your child's biological Father does have the right to find out about his son, as he has not terminated any of his rights. So, unless you can prove he is unfit and unsafe, he does have the right to make contact and find out about his son. I know that part is really tough to hear. You want this guy gone forever.
4. You need to find out if your ex will agree to your husband adopting your son. If you can present in a way that might relate to him - say by allowing your husband to adopt, it will relieve your ex of current child support.
5. You also need to find out if your husband wants to adopt your son.
6. If your husband does not want to adopt your son, then you need to get used to notion of having your ex back in you and your son's life. But then step up the pressure to get the child support. This does not mean you opne the doors and welcome the ex back with fanfare. Let him know that his visits will be monitored by you. What I would worry about is that he would come and take your son and take off.
7. Talk to an attorney about all this - find out your rights as the custodial parent, your son's rights and how to protect you both. You don't want the ex waltzing in and out as he pleases.
8. Document, document, document everythiing concerning your ex - conversations, actions, threats, etc. If he would ever come for a visit and take your son out, document that and what your son says and how your sons acts when he comes home. Make a physical exam of your son, noting any marks or bruises. Get in the habit of recording data and all that kinds of information.
9. Talk to the school - your son's teachers and the principal and personnel that are involved with your son. Explain what is going on and keep them informed as to what you expect them to do for the welfare of your son. For example - what do they do if your ex shows up at school? Since your ex is not on any release form, your ex cannot remove your son.

All that being said, I truly wish you the very best in what you are going through.