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Timmbby · Feb 20, 2014, 01:50 AM

First off, I'm going to start by saying, yes, I'm in grade 8. That doesn't mean I don't understand love. I've seen it on my friends faces and felt it on mine. If you're just here to off about how I don't understand love, leave.

Anyway, there's this guy I like, and my guy best friend, who happens to be his friend, says he likes me. My only class with him is band, and talking gets you in trouble. I'm a really awkward person, and he is nervous because he doesn't know I like him, but I want him to know he could ask me out, without having to tell him myself. I don't like him a ton, but he doesn't like me a ton either. I hope me and him can get closer, but I don't know what to do. All my friends want to talk to him but won't tell me what they're going to say (I swear if they straight up say I like him too I will murder them) and I'm worried they might screw this up for me. I'm nt the prettiest, skinniest, smartest, or most athletic, and so this is really important to me to not get messed up. Any advice from you lovely people?

Catsmine · Feb 20, 2014, 02:59 AM

What else do you and the hoped for object of your affection have in common besides band class? Lunch periods? Instruments? Neighborhoods?

You need something to "open the door" for conversation. Figure out what that is, start talking about that and you will be much farther along than the other girls that try "Hi, you're cute. Wanna hang out?"

Of course, there is something to be said for the directness of that approach.

tickle · Feb 20, 2014, 03:34 AM

There is a lot more to love then 'seeing it on friends faces' and 'felt it on mine'. There is a lot more to asking questions politely here as well, and you don't get to dictate who answers and how. It is an open forum, anyone can give input as they like to.

By the way, seeing as you are such an expert on love, please explain how you 'love on your face'?

If you like this person, ditch the awkwardness and start talking to him. You are in grade 8 not kindergarten.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 20, 2014, 05:29 AM

I am sorry, I will say it, you are in 8th grade, no one in 8th grade understands love.

You have the feelings of your hormones that are confusing emotions.

You show the immaturity by saying you "see it on their faces"

ScottGem · Feb 20, 2014, 05:42 AM

First, please don't presume to dictate who can respond to your posts or how. As long as a response doesn't violate our rules (in which case you report it) you have to accept it. You are free to ignore any advice you don't want.

Second, Have you asked your parents whether its OK to "go out" with a boy? If he asks you out what does that mean to you? What are you going to do?

As for you understanding love. Sorry, but I'm considerably older than you and I don't fully understand love, no one does. So for a someone your age (12/13?) to claim they understand it shows a distinct lack of maturity.

But you don't say you are in love with him (how can you be when you see him only in band?) so what does love really have to do with it at this point? If you are in band together, what instruments do you play? Maybe you can ask him if he wants "jam" with you sometime.

Cat1864 · Feb 20, 2014, 06:05 AM

First I want to address putting carts before horses. Love is the cart and getting to know the other person is the horse. You are giving a lecture about an emotion that has nothing to do with your question. You say that you "don't like him a ton." Find out if there is friendship before thinking about love.

Now, I think you need to take a different path than the one you might think. Instead of worrying about how to get to know him, work on ways to feel better about yourself. Most of your 'question' is about how you feel awkward and other negatives about yourself. I am not certain there are very many teens who feel comfortable with themselves, but you can do things to feel more positive about who you are. Start listing the positive things about yourself and build them up. You are an individual. Be the best at being you.

As for the boy, you want him to ask you out. Due to your age I have to ask. Do your parents allow you to date? I can't give advice that goes against a parent's rules.

smoothy · Feb 20, 2014, 06:05 AM

I'm with everyone else, don't tell us what and how to answer. With that part aside... first... you can't "see love in friends faces" in the eighth grade... you only know lust... not love, nobody in their teens understands love. That takes a lot more experience than you have to know the differences. A few people never manage to learn them no matter how old they get... some of them famous... all end up married over and over and over...

Most people... (I might even venture to say all people) go through the awkward phase. Some just take a lot longer than others to go through it.

You talk to him when you can... but show the maturity and self composure to gracefully accept being turned down in case he doesn't express the same level of interest you do. Everyone has to deal with that... how well you do says a lot about you as a person. And more people will turn you down than people who will accept. You have to vew it as nothing ventured - nothing gained. And not take it personally.

talaniman · Feb 20, 2014, 06:42 AM

Talk to him and see what happens.

Homegirl 50 · Feb 20, 2014, 07:54 AM

Why don't you try to get to know him by talking to him. Talk about the things you have in common. You can't love someone you don't know. He is not going to ask you out if he does not know you.

talaniman · Feb 20, 2014, 08:28 AM

Not unusual for young people to claim to know about LOVE, and have no clue what to do about it.

odinn7 · Feb 20, 2014, 09:11 AM

My daughter is in 8th grade and yeah...she has no idea what love is...none. I was madly in love with a girl when I was in 8th grade....Well, at least I thought I was back then. Now I look back and realize it wasn't really love.

You talk to the kid, see what you have in common, and go from there. Simple as that.