[Rinjo]

Hello All,

My fiancée and I are in a bit of a quandary. We are to be married in 6 months and have already gotten plenty of prompting from friends and family to register. We have obliged, now, by going and registering at two different companies. However, with both sites, we have about 60 items listed at varied prices, most of which would be upgrading stuff we currently have. Besides nicer pots and pans, and some other misc cookware, we really have everything else we could need.

So the two of us started looking into other things. We decided that maybe camping gear would be a good thing to register for. Considering that the two of us both have lived on our own for so long, and have furnished homes, why not ask for things that are recreational in nature? So we added a tent, a lantern, and some smaller items that could be used outdoors. Really not much to fill out a registry like we had hoped.

With the thought of shared recreation it wasn't much of a jump to ask ourselves what other things we enjoy. Being a video game designer, I could not only have fun with some of the newer systems, but put them to a practical use. My fiancée and I both share a fascination with gaming, however when I suggested that we add some things to our registry, she felt it as inappropriate.

I certainly understand her concern. And for a Wedding Registry, normally I wouldn't consider adding something like that. However, we have all we need, so why not add things that we cannot afford, or seem to be just out of reach at times. My point is that with a varied price range of items, we are offering those who love us a realm of comfort and practicality to their gift selection for us (should they choose to give us anything). Neither of us are expecting anything, and almost wish that we didn't have to go through the process of registry.

So my question really is, What is appropriate to put on a registry? Considering that traditionally a Bride registered for items that she and her groom did not have and would need in the new home, it almost feels like we are taking advantage. Yet, I do know and understand that the gift experience isn't just about us receiving, its really about people sharing in their love for us.

Any help?

Thanks...

[Emland]

I would much rather get a friend or family member something they really want than spend $100 for a piece of china or something else they will never use that is considered an "appropriate wedding gift."

I can't even get my sister to register. Her wedding is coming up in July and since it is not her first, both of them have way too much stuff once they combine households, she thinks it is selfish to register. I told her she is nutz and a lot of people like to celebrate a new marriage by giving gifts (I do anyway) and want help in knowing what the receivers like.

I believe anything goes these days in regards to registering, but that is just me!

[jessincali]

As part of an engaged couple myself - I feel qualified to answer this question :)
First off - CONGRATS on getting married. My wedding is in September and I know how exciting/busy of a time this is.
Ah the gift registry... how do you register for the things you really want and not seem like you are being selfish. To answer your first question - I agree with your fiancé that registering for video games of any kind is not tactful. Although I can understand your problem with not knowing what you really "need" (we just finished registering) - I have the following questions/suggestions...
-Do you own a home - if not - you may want to consider starting up a "down payment" registry. If you Google that - you will come up with several different websites strictly for that - or your bank should be happy to set up an account.
- Have you registered for you honeymoon? I have seen several weddings were you go through a travel agency and your guests can contribute to special items on your honey moon (ie - a massage or dinner) or just to the fund in general
-If you really have everything you need - once your registry is exhausted - if your family knows you are in need of funds - your guest will probably give cash
One last suggestions - if you have everything you need and you really don't need the money for a house or other large purchases... consider listing a non-profit organization on your registry. Have guests make a donation. You will be avoiding getting items you don't need and helping others at the same time! :)
Hope that helped. Good luck!

[NowWhat]

I have a friend that is about to get married - her 2nd and his 1st. They two have everything they need - but as it is customary to bring a gift to wedding - they are just asking for gift cards. They eventually want to do some home remodeling and having gift cards to home stores will help.
Or with the major card companies now offering gift cards - you could get one of those and use it for whatever you like - say video games.

[Synnen]

We registered for everything... including camping gear, video games, board games, a TV, upgraded kitchen gadgets, and silly stuff like flip flops for the honeymoon.

We got as much variety as we have friends and family. People were happily surprised that there were things on our registry that not only did we want, but reflected their relationship with us.

Register for what you want, imo. You're STILL going to get a toaster from SOMEONE, though.

[nottheonlycluelesstexan]

I considered my registry to be a wish list of stuff I wouldn't mind having but either wouldn't or couldn't buy myself. Be careful of asking for stuff that will just clutter up your home, like kitchen gadgets that only have one function (i.e. garlic press) but otherwise have fun! Don't get too attached to any one thing but do register for things you can enjoy together. Games are great as long as you won't be the one sitting in front of the TV or PC ignoring your new bride.
Congrats!