[eddie62]

In the 14 years married my wife has cheated on me. I have tried to forgive but I cant. I do love her but she has destroyed me as a man in many ways, I have no male self esteem anymore. The sex I just want to get it over with. I have changed to someone I was not. I work hard and helped her in so many ways. Last time she got caught by me as did the other 3 times before that.

Even with all the things she is saying now, I still have these nightmares waking me in my sleep. I took on her children as my own and helped her in so many ways to fight to get her children back. The sick part is I beleave she is at it again but this time if I am right I can't stay not for the children or myself. I am as low as she could drag me. All the signs are there again with her the hiding of calls and texts she blocked the phone where before was open, not that I ever needed to look. I only found that out when her phone started to ring and I could not answer it.

Just not sure what to do for the best it's the children and grandchildren. I am worried for more than myself.

[Jake2008]

It seems her decisions and choices, will no doubt affect everyone in her life, including you, the grandchildren, and children. Sad that her legacy will undoubtedly lead to a broken home, and the loss of someone who has become a parent to them.

I don't know what makes you stay, other than the children. Her cheating is more than cheating. It is the lies, the double talk, the broken promises, the worrying, the thinking you're imagining things when you're not, etc. It is far more than a broken heart, as you have already learned.

It is a terrible burden to live under. Never to know if the last time she cheated was really the last time. And even if it were the last time, with her repeated history of cheating, you would probably be bracing yourself for the next time anyway, even if it never happened again. Learning to trust, when that trust has been broken, will not likely ever recover.

If you do decide to leave, and I hope you do get some distance between you and her, seek a little guidance from a counselor to help re-build your confidence and self esteem. Learn why you feel the way you do, and why you are a human being, worth so much more than being an emotionally beat up person. With strength, you can overcome what you have suffered, and also learn what you need in a future partner as far as values, and character goes.

I doubt that you will sever ties with these children, and grandchildren, and I hope for your sake that your positive influence in their lives, will continue on a regular basis. That would be the best for them, but all I can say is expect things to work out, but be prepared if they don't.

[talaniman]

Leave, and start the process of healing and adjustments for all of you effected by her bad behavior. Taking such actions will do much for your self esteem, dignity, and self respect.

You deserve better and leaving will send a clear message that you are through allowing her bad behavior, and 3 strikes she is OUT!! She can't control herself, and for sure neither can YOU.