[Maryjane11]

Our daughter is 23 and is in college. Four months ago she met a boy from Jordan who is here enrolled in a English program . They want to share an apartment and his family is coming here and taking her on a cruise on spring break. She says she loves him. We have met him four times and he seems very nice. The problem is now she says he wants to get married ( and within a week) . She says it just will mean to her that she is engaged, and that is just a religious service, but he cannot live in sin. She is Christian and he is Muslim. Our concern is that she needs her father to sign some sort of contract, which I'm sure will be in Arabic. We really have doubts about this and what it entails. Also does this make her legally married here?

[ebaines]

Married is married. Yes, if she marries him in a Muslim ceremony then she is married. You ask if this will be a legal marriage "here" - what do you mean by that? Are they being married in a foreign country? In general US states and the federal governmemt recognize marriages performed in other jursidictions, even over seas.

My advice is if he cannot live "in sin" then they should not share an apartment. And if they decide to get married then your daughter should not pretend it's something less.

[Maryjane11]

Thank you and it will be in the US. I'm concerned about what her father needs to sign, I do not anything about this and we only have been given a weeks notice

[Wondergirl]

Wait a minute! Back up the bus. She has known him only four months???? What's the hurry?

[Maryjane11]

Yes 4 months . He feels it's right to get married

[talaniman]

Don't sign no matter what it says until you know a LOT more about this situation. A year and a half to consider this issue sounds reasonable to me. In the meantime make up your own contract for them to sign that protects your daughter. In English of course. DEMAND that their contract is in English also.

Yeah I know, its nothing but a stalling tactic on your part but so what? You aren't Muslims yourself are you? You are not bound by anything they say, or do. As an American father, I would never sign an agreement with any family of the family of her boyfriend. I would protect my own interests the same way they protect theirs. I wouldn't give a rat's patoot about religious considerations or the people that consider them. Not even my own daughter's.

[Wondergirl]

Yes 4 months . He feels it's right to get married

How will he feel about being married after six months if he decides she's not quite right for him after all? Or if another young woman catches his eye?

I totally agree with what tal said about contracts.

[Alty]

If it's a Muslim ceremony and he doesn't want to be married in 6 months, he only has to say talaq three times, and they're divorced.

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&...,d.cGU&cad=rja

[Maryjane11]

Thank you very much , this gives us some strength

[smearcase]

It is most likely considering Alty's reference that the "fiance" and his family are trying to get in a position where they will be able to do as they please back in Jordan or maybe other countries with similar law.
Maybe that is possibly a one way cruise. Does she want to live in Jordan or other areas in that region?
Hopefully you can get across to her that this is a risky situation with many unknowns. Who knows what the motivations are here. Will she be around the vicinity to finish her schooling? Alarms, whistles, bells etc are going off in my head. Old saying-what looks right might be wrong but if it looks wrong it's gotta be wrong. Good luck.

[helpinghead]

Please talk to both of them and explain your concerns, May be talk to the boys family too. Go visit a local mosque and talk to the religious head there and he will get you in touch with folks from jordan, that way you can do some background check about the boys family... one good thing I can see here is he asking to get married and take responsibility instead of staying as a room mate with no strings attached... my two cents