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Marcopolo01111 · Jan 17, 2014, 12:14 PM

Hi Everyone,

Sorry to bother you all with this, just could use some advice. About 4 years ago I started getting a sensation like pins and needles under my nose. It would only happen when I thought about it. I became convinced that this sensation was causing my nostrils to constantly flare.

Recently this has resurfaced in a massive way, where on a day to day basis I am obsessed with this. I notice when I talk to anyone they are always rubbing they're nose and upper lip as if there is some kind of issue.

However when I talk to my parents, my brother and a counsellor I'm seeing they all tell me it's completely in my head and I've never done anything like this in front of them. Even though they have also rubbed under their nose when I have been talking to them!

I notice recently it is literally everyone I talk to who has this reaction to me. Could you offer me some advice? I currently feel like a very strange person...

Thanks for your replies in advance!

Mark

CravenMorhead · Jan 17, 2014, 01:15 PM

Everyone has their little quarks. Have you actually seen your nose flare? You say it only happens when you think about it, had you thought about while in front of a mirror?

I think you're just being hypersensitive to what all is going on about you. You're just noticing this because you think there is something wrong with you. Chances are there is nothing wrong with you but I can see you or interact so I don't know for sure. There is probably a reason for the reactions you're noticing, but I couldn't say what it is.

Considering some of the facial ticks or deformities out there, flaring your nostrils isn't really a serious one. I wouldn't be too concerned about this. It is how you are and you can't change it. It is like having abnormally large breasts, they're there and there isn't a thing you can do to stop people from reacting to them. Accept this will occur and just move on. Unfortunately you can't find cute nose bras or whatnot. Ca Sera.

tickle · Jan 17, 2014, 04:25 PM

Cute nose bras ? I have a picture in my mind.

Marcopolo01111 · Jan 18, 2014, 02:31 AM

Hi,

Thanks for the reply, it's a great help. I know what you mean, as ticks go it's relatively minor. It's just when everyone is parroting your tick back to you it genuinely makes you feel like quasimodo or something... but that may just be me being hypersensitive to everyone rubbing they're nose in cold season.

The weird thing is I don't get this sensation when I look in a mirror. It just seems to stop. I mean I can make myself flare my nostrils but I don't get the sensation I get away from the mirror. Or naturally flare my nostrils. So it means I can't check it!

I just find it really bizarre when I talk to people and they parrot it back to me, then when I talk to them they have no awareness of me doing it! It leaves me really confused! They are completely adamant I'm being ridiculous and have never done it as well!

Your right though no matter peoples reactions, I need to put in perspective how minor this is.

Good idea on the nose bras... wonder if I can patent that... : p

joypulv · Jan 18, 2014, 03:27 AM

After a few years being on this site almost every day, I am amazed at the number of people who have developed the feeling that people are rubbing their noses whenever they get close, or even walk by. Some have worried about being smelly or having bad breath, but all are similar in that they can't shake the idea that it's because of them, and that it happens with everyone they see. Your concern about your nostrils flaring is a new one, but all else is the same. All have been good about checking with family and friends, and all were assured that it just wasn't true.

I have a feeling that there is 'something' in our brains that can lead us to repeat or imagine something over and over, just as so many people develop the need to wash their hands. Yours could be a form of OCD. I have a few mild things I do, but so do most people, and I can't call any of them OCD because they don't ruin my day. Mine are mostly about numbers and counting things, measuring things, etc.

I have thought about this nose rubbing topic before and tried to count how many times in an hour I rub my nose... it's a lot. You aren't imagining the nose rubbing but you are attaching a connection to you each time someone does it.

Sociobiologists say that we often reach to adjust our tie or necklace or just put our hands to our neck/face when we encounter someone, or argue or just talk, because of a primal fear of attack and need to protect our throat. Even if we see someone attractive to us, we reach upbecause adrenaline is released, and it's an instinctive response. (To stretch the primal stuff a little, it's possible that you think your nostrils flare because that is also a primal act, an act of aggression.) I think a nose rub that isn't an itchy nose is a 'first response' that is just a natural instinct. It's what YOUR brain is doing to process a typical and minor act on the part of others that is out of the realm of ordinary. So yes, it's neurotic, and you need to address this in therapy, and maybe try one of the medications that often work for OCD. Someday there will be more knowledge about the parts of the brain that get too acutely aware, too hyper-vigilant for no reason, but that day isn't here yet.

tickle · Jan 18, 2014, 06:22 AM

I just tried to flare my nostrils and I couldn't do it. There is no way someone can copy nostril flaring.

joypulv · Jan 18, 2014, 09:39 AM

I can.

talaniman · Jan 18, 2014, 11:37 AM

The key here is YOU are obsessed with your own quirks and think everyone else's quirks are about you. They are NOT. Its about them. You just keep feeding yourself the notion it's about you.

I don't know what is the root cause of this overthinking but do know you need coping strategies that changes your approach to help you cope when this happen to you. Change your focus from their quirks for instance to their conversation, use your ears rather than the eyes so to speak. I think you have picked up a habit for whatever reason, and need to change that habit. Obviously you cannot let it pass, or ignore it, so work to change it.

Tell yourself this person has a quirk, just as I do, because in truth, most people do. You only notice the ones YOU are obsessed with, your nose, their noise.