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rackcity · Dec 23, 2013, 03:40 AM

Okay so I'm on a trip to Vegas. Went to a bar that plays music the other night. The bartender is absolutely gorgeous and I have a crush on her. The first and second time I saw her she served us but I was with my parents so it was awkward to initiate small talk. Anyway I was still determined so as soon as I saw her I was about to start a conversation and she suddenly carded me. It threw me off. I tried to drop by tonight but she wasn't working. I really want her number or Facebook cause she's so cute but I've never really tried talking to a girl I have known for such a short period before. And on top of that, I'm afraid that it being a bar might constitute for her not taking me seriously. I'm only here for a few more days and want to know what to do. Btw I'm 22 and weird enough, I don't drink... Help!!

joypulv · Dec 23, 2013, 04:08 AM

She knows you have a crush on her, so that's why she suddenly carded you. Your chances are nil. A beautiful bartender gets hit on 20 times a night and probably has a boyfriend or husband, with many waiting (and that's assuming she's straight). You can say 'I have a crush on you, do I stand a snowball's chance?' and smile to let her know you aren't an obsessed stalker. Depending on what she says, you can then ask if she is on Facebook and would she friend you. Don't count on it.
She'll be nice about it - bartenders are very experienced at turning men down while keeping their willingness to sit at the bar and buy drinks.

ScottGem · Dec 23, 2013, 05:29 AM

There may be a policy in the bar about fraternizing with customers. Obviously she lives in Vegas and you don't, which is another impediment.

What I would do, is look for a greeting card that thanks someone for their service. Write in the card that that you found her extremely attractive and would like to get to know her better. Include your phone and Facebook. Give her the card when you are leaving the bar and hope.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 23, 2013, 07:43 AM

First you are 22, if you can not talk to a girl with parents present, that is an entire other issue. In life, you often only get one chance, you have to do it, when it happens.

Next, if being carded thows you off, why ? If you went there for purpose, then you are not sincere in this, and too shy or something.

But they are right, she will get asked out 10 to 20 or more times a night, if she is really hot looking. So you need just to tell her and see what happens

talaniman · Dec 23, 2013, 08:10 AM

If she carded you, she already has enough information to check you out, name, address, age, and how to find YOU on Facebook. If she is interested. I would leave it at that, smitten can lead you to ignoring safety with strangers. Cute doesn't mean a good person. She probably is very cautious who she would give her information too on the reverse side of this and as Joy said as you could be a nice guy at first glance but a psycho stalker.

Or she may have a jealous boyfriend/husband. The adage, Look before you leap, comes to mind. That applies both ways and you should never get carried away by those intense feelings of attraction and get sloppy about what you do about those intense feelings. If its meant to be it will.

Cat1864 · Dec 23, 2013, 08:23 AM

How often do you go to Vegas?

Frankly, I think you are caught up in the atmosphere of the place and being on vacation and letting your hormones override your common sense. Once you are back home and back in your regular social circle with other women who are more available, your crush on this woman will fade.

Be realistic about your regular life and pharmacy school (another thread) and how well you could juggle getting to know a complete stranger when you are already a bit overwhelmed with your classes.

smoothy · Dec 23, 2013, 08:24 AM

There is this... She's a local... you are there for only there for a very short time and are leaving. Maybe she sees it as a waste of her time to date someone who isn't going to be there in a very short time. She isn't into one night stands... and the fact you will be leaving in a short time she sees it as futile to even consider anything further.

And as has been brought up... a lot of places frown upon employees dating customers... it way too often leads to graft and fraud by the staff that costs the owner money, a lot of it.

rackcity · Dec 23, 2013, 02:44 PM

Thanks for all your responses. Not being a local and the fact that she probably gets hit on many times a day is demotivating me from going on with it.. But I also feel Like I have nothing to lose. She always seems busy. Do you think the thank you for your service card with my number and a little note about how I thought she is cool would be good? I could drop by and if she's there leave it with her plus a tip. What do you all think?

J_9 · Dec 23, 2013, 02:50 PM

Having been a bartender in my younger years I would have found it kind of creepy if one of my customers did that to me.

joypulv · Dec 23, 2013, 02:52 PM

I'd say yes except for one thing: she isn't going to call you, and bartenders hate to give out numbers because they work when a lot of people are sleeping, and vice versa.
Just your name and that it's on Facebook.
('Thank you for your service' sounds too phony to me. Something more natural like 'You are the best bartender')
Again - don't count on anything to ever result, no matter what you write.

odinn7 · Dec 23, 2013, 03:05 PM

Years ago I was always all over this one bar tender at a place I frequented (not literally all over her). She was cool about it though and handled it well...At one point I told her if I bother her, let me know and I will stop. It kind of became a running joke between us and she remained my friend for years. I "knew" her in that I saw her numerous times a week and we talked about all sorts of things. This is why she put up with me in the beginning. If I had been someone passing through, she wouldn't have dealt with me too much.

At this point, you don't live in Vegas, won't be going back too often....I would wonder why even bother. BUT! I actually say, more power to you because what have you got to lose here? NOTHING!

rackcity · Dec 23, 2013, 03:24 PM

[QUOTE=;][/QUOTEI think I'll end up writing you're the best bartender and leave my Facebook name. . Not too sure to do it on a card or a napkin, I'm not cheap but I don't want to go all out just to creep her out how some of you all have brought to my attention. Does this sound like a better idea? And by the way thank you all for responding I'd totally write back to each of you but I'm on my phone and it's hard.

J_9 · Dec 23, 2013, 03:27 PM

It would be different if you had had some conversations with her. But, if I'm reading correctly, you haven't. Is that correct?

If you had sat at the bar a few times and had conversations with her, I would leave a thank you note/card with your name and that you are on FB. If you didn't have any conversations with her, that would just creep her out.

25+ years ago when I was a bartender, I would have been flattered to receive a message from someone I conversed with over a few days, or visits, to my bar. But to receive one from a customer I never conversed with was just unnerving.

rackcity · Dec 24, 2013, 04:05 AM

I even tried tonight to talk to her but nobody was even at the bar. I'm just going to see if I can try tomorrow or the day after then write my name down. I hope this works!

J_9 · Dec 24, 2013, 04:16 AM

rackcity, you aren't coming off as stalking are you? Food for thought.

joypulv · Dec 24, 2013, 04:37 AM

It's Christmas. She might have several days off.
Sure you can do this. But the odds that she will ever contact you are one in a million. I should say zero. Your situation isn't the same as odinn7's.

odinn7 · Dec 24, 2013, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

Sure you can do this. But the odds that she will ever contact you are one in a million. I should say zero. Your situation isn't the same as odinn7's.

Exactly. Don't expect the same results.

I told my story to point out that I wasn't someone just passing through, I knew her over time, but still nothing happened and it never amounted to anything.
But, as I said, you haven't got much to lose....unless as was already point out....you are coming off like some sort of creepy stalker.

rackcity · Dec 24, 2013, 02:24 PM

Ohhh I doubt I'm coming off as a stalker, I never did anything weird or tried too hard, but I don't know why I got infatuated. Maybe cause the Vegas scene and it's something exciting. Yeah I tried conversing but there was a bit of people and her manager is like right there so. . if I end up seeing her before I go and try and I end up getting the cold shoulder I totally would give it up. Damn it Vegas!

rackcity · Dec 25, 2013, 12:56 AM

Giving up guys, I see her here but it's too busy and seems like it's not the right environment. Merry xmas everybody.

J_9 · Dec 25, 2013, 12:58 AM

You were just caught up in the excitement of Vegas and the holidays. It happens.

Merry Christmas to you!