[kjbutler10]

My husband and I have been together for about 6 years And married for almost 4. About 5 months ago he started asking me if he was "sharing" and I would answer definitely not. This went on for about two weeks and then one night out of no where he gets mad and gets his 2 kids(we have four all together 2 from his previous marriage and 2 together) up in the middle of the night and leaves. He went to his parents which live 2 states away. He has went back and forth several times. I have tried to reassure him that I love only him and the thought has never crossed my mind. We have always had a wonderful relationship, but to complicate matters he began having some major health issues about 4 years ago that took him out of work, and he hasn't been able to work since. He has had six back surgeries, five heart attacks, and began have seizures in February this year. Therefore I have been the sole bread winner and he turned into the stay at home parent. He has accused me of not only one person but several including some of his longtime friends, saying that I was having sex with all sorts of strangers before him and all sorts of wild sexual acts with strangers and not to stop there but I have also been sleeping with people for money to make ends meet when we came up short. My husband is the only the second man I have ever been with, the first I don't count Because I was sexually abused as a teenager. I know he has trust issues because that is the reason he and his ex divorced, she cheated on him. I have tried to remain patient with him reassuring him that I haven't done anything but no matter what I say he doesn't believe me. He says that while he is away at his parents I am having men over and such but nothing could be farther from the truth. My daily routine e consists solely of working nights and taking care of our 2 and 3 year olds. I am at wits end. I love my husband more than words and want to see this through because we have been through so much but this is starting to become emotionally unbearable. He says that if I only admit I done him wrong and apologize that he can forgive me. In my heart of hearts I cannot and will not apologize and admit to something I have not done. I have more self respect and love for myself and for my children than to do that. I cannot live a lie like this. What do I do? Please help!

[Fr_Chuck]

Tell him that he needs counseling, and that he has mental issues. Tell him you will be glad to go to counseling with him, and try to find the reason he is having these delusions.

Never admit to something you did not do. It is possible his medical condition or medication has caused him to be thinking this way.

If not, if it is this, today, it will be something else tomorrow if this is not solved.

[joypulv]

There's a chance that his seizures have altered his brain chemistry and quite literally caused paranoia. Call his primary care doctor if he won't listen to you, which he probably won't - that's the trouble with paranoia.

[Jake2008]

You say this strange behavior started about five months ago. Were there any changes at that time, including medication changes, that could help explain his odd behavior?

Has he ever behaved like this before, over the 10 years you've been together?

In addition to the surgeries he's gone through, the seizures that have been in the past four months- can you explain what the Doctor has said about those? Maybe why he has them, or what could be causing them?

I am more than a bit alarmed with the description of your husband's health issues, particularly the seizures, that he would up and take two of the four children, and drive two states over to go to his parents' house!

There must be more history here to explain why that would have been okay and/or safe for him to do so.

It must be a tremendous strain and very confusing for all four kids, having also witnessed his accusations, and likely arguments, and general upset with his behavior. Then he up and takes off with 'his' kids, and they are still in a very unstable position.

I would not take this man back, only to have something similar, or worse, happen in the house. You convincing him you aren't cheating, means nothing. His perception, and resulting behavior, because he thinks you are cheating, has to be addressed by a medical doctor.

Are you aware of any times where he may have abused any prescriptions?

[talaniman]

Call his doctor, and tell him what's going on with your husband immediately.

[kjbutler10]

You say this strange behavior started about five months ago. Were there any changes at that time, including medication changes, that could help explain his odd behavior?

Has he ever behaved like this before, over the 10 years you've been together?

In addition to the surgeries he's gone through, the seizures that have been in the past four months- can you explain what the Doctor has said about those? Maybe why he has them, or what could be causing them?

I am more than a bit alarmed with the description of your husband'timealth issues, particularly the seizures, that he would up and take two of the four children, and drive two states over to go to his parents' house!

There must be more history here to explain why that would have been okay and/or safe for him to do so.

It must be a tremendous strain and very confusing for all four kids, having also witnessed his accusations, and likely arguments, and general upset with his behavior. Then he up and takes off with 'his' kids, atime hey are still in a very unstable position.

I would not take this man back, only to have something similar, or worse, happen in the house. You convincing him you aren't cheating, means nothing. His perception, and resulting behavior, because he thinks you are cheating, has to be addressed by a medical doctor.

Are you aware of any times where he may have abused any prescriptions?

The surgeries have been over 4 years and there is no history that has been left out. Nor did I say that his actions were safe, they were acceptable because legally I have no rights to his biological children other than being a step parent. With this said I love them as my own but there was nothing that I could do and certainly would not escalate an already unstable situation in front of my 2 and 3 year old. He has never a used his medication, he is very responsible and meticulous with taking it as we have both been in the medical field quite some time so he understands the importance of it. Also I have notified his doctors both primary and his neurologist about this. The neurologist has started him on anti anxiety meds and meds for depression neither of which has helped. As to the question about his seizures the neurologist that we saw has not been able to find a medical reasoning for his seizures after several series of test of great magnitudes. He has never acted like this before and never even been the jealous type, this behavior just started of nowhere.

[odinn7]

It sounds like a mental issue...after reading the responses, I also have to add this....

There is obviously something going on in his mind if all that you have said is accurate. I would be concerned about when that jealousy and suspicion he has turns to rage and confrontation...Will he get to the point where he becomes abusive or threatening? You never know. You have children that could be caught up in all of this if it does go bad.

I would not take him back until he gets himself straightened out.