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srm1989 · Dec 18, 2013, 08:47 PM

I am not married. My fiancé and I have never been to court, or anything like that for custody of our daughter. I left the state with her for a vacation with our daughter and he had no problem with that, for he usually never comes with us. I need a little space from him to figure out our problems, but am not going to keep our child from him. He is planning to come up and be with us for a while, and then wants to take her back (to another state where we were living), with him. We are currently together still, and we still will be when he plans to leave with her. I am really concerned that he would get back with her and attempt to keep her from me or fight me in some way to force me back to the other state to fight him for her. What should I do, or could anyone inform me on any rights I have or what I could do to prevent him from doing this? My address is currently still the same (in the other state), even though I am on vacation. He is living in the apartment that we both pay for, and the lease is in my name alone. Any and all help would be GREATLY appreciated. Thank you so much

smoothy · Dec 18, 2013, 08:58 PM

Unless the court has mandated custody and visitation... there is nothing you can do to stop him.

Get a lawer... file for custody and get something established... until then his rights are equal to yours and he can do it.

In fact it would be a good idea because it can put a stop to any bickering and power plays before they get started. Its actually in everyones best interests.

srm1989 · Dec 18, 2013, 09:02 PM

Thanks for the reply. But lets say we decide to mutually separate, do you know if I would have to go back to the state where she was born to go to court over her? Or could I do this or go file for custody in the state I am currently in? Suggest I do this before he leaves?
Thank you SOO much for your help

Spouse and I have never been married. We are thinking of separating mutually and in good terms. He wants to live in current state, and I just want to return home. He says he wouldn't fight for full custody of our child. I have been away for about a month with our child in my home state. Would I have to return to the state where our child was born to file for custody, or could I do that in the current state I am staying in? Thanks for any and all help or advice.

smoothy · Dec 19, 2013, 04:23 AM

You have to file from a state where you are currently a resident of... and what that typically is accepted to be is where you have lived for the previous 6 months. That means if you have lived in the state where you are now for 6 or more months, you can do it from where you live now. I assume you have bills thre now as wel, like rent, utilities etc which can also be used to prove residence.

Keep in mind someone might say one thing now... but they can always change their mind for any number of reasons in the future. This is one of the reasons it's a good idea to sort this out in a court. Everyone is obligated to follow the decisions handed down.

Also if you wanted to collect child suppport, that would have to be done through the court.

ScottGem · Dec 19, 2013, 05:58 AM

Until a court order is issued specifying custody and visitation you both (assuming is is the legal father) have equal rights.

However, if he takes her to another state other than the one where you legally reside, you would file for custody where you legally reside. He could then be forced to return the child to that state. The same goes for you, if you decide to keep the child away from him. Until you can establish legal residence in another state (usually at least 6 months), the state where the child was born has jurisdiction.