[emmalolssssssss]

I'm a 15 female
Okay this may be a bit long but I know something is wrong with me mentally I just don't know what. I don't know I'm such a confusing person. Everyone see's me as some depressed person cause I chose to show them that. But when it comes to me when I'm alone I don't know what I feel, I feel like there's so much emotion inside that just won't come out no matter how hard I try. And when I do try talk to people about things like this I always smile, I always smile in situations like that and they don't take me to seriously. I do have forms of depression and anxiety but I haven't been diagnosed properly with something yet. When I'm angry I take it out on other people and sometimes I laugh while I'm agry because I know nothing will ever get better. I'm a liar as well, I've lied about sleeping with someone and got pregnant, I've lied about being abused by my boyfriend and nearly raped. I don't know why I do the things I do and I need help. I know I am a caring person but at the same time its like I'm not, like I'm some evil person and it wouldn't surprise me if I killed someone rather than killing myself. Please help tell me if this sounds like some sort of mental illness

[Wondergirl]

It's time to tell all this to a counselor or therapist in real life, not to nebulous people on the Internet.

How about doing that? Talk with a school counselor or a trusted teacher?