
Originally Posted by
Dionne75
It's just hard to face... Especially when his heart is still beating away. Very hard to terminate but I know carrying him longer would only be a bad ending as well... I understand there seems to be no good ending. Can you tell me the pros and cons to terminating compared to letting him go naturally etc.. my main question is this: if he won't survive anyway why terminate now? Would someone not do better waiting it out just in case? I know you can't make that decision for us Im just trying to weigh the options I guess.
I really hate to give advice like this because it's really a judgement call, one no one else can make for you. It's all based on personal feelings, other people you know, and it either gives someone too much hope, hope that will likely be squashed in the end, or it will take away all hope.
How far along are you? I don't think you mentioned that. How many doctors have seen you, and how many have given you this prognosis? Do any of them say there is hope?
I can only tell you what I'd do. Me, I'd carry the child to term, only because I have had a few people in my life that were told that they should terminate, that their child was either Down Syndrome, or wouldn't be born alive, and they chose to carry the pregnancy to term and delivered a perfectly healthy child. The Down Syndrome friend had 3 different doctors tell her the same thing, and her child did not have Down Syndrome.
Then again, there was a neighbor up the street that was told her child wouldn't survive delivery. She saw 4 doctors. Three told her the baby would be stillborn, one told her it wouldn't. It was. A friend of mine just went to the funeral of her nieces baby, she had a situation much like yours where she decided to carry the child to term and it was stillborn.
This isn't an easy choice. If there's really no hope you'd be better of terminating now, letting your body heal, letting your heart heal. Giving birth is not easy, and walking out of that hospital without a child, is even harder. I worry about your mental health if you have to deal with giving birth to a stillborn, or a child that will die shortly after delivery.
I hate writing this post. I don't feel like I've given you advice that's worthwhile, and I feel like I may be hurting you even more than you're already hurting. But you did ask. Still, it's hard to post because there's no way anyone can tell you what will happen, if there's any hope, and there's no way for anyone to make this decision for you.
All I can do is wish you the best of luck, and tell you how sorry I am that you're facing this.
Bless you and your child.