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    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Dec 8, 2013, 11:34 PM
    Good small gift.
    Recently I asked about what I should talk about with a girl that I like, and I received some very good advice. Now, I'm asking what a good, cheap, small gift would be. Nothing big, or serious, but just something to show my appreciation for her existence. ;) This is to be given at a teen-only christmas party at my church, and I was thinking about maybe a stuffed dog, but is that too childish? We're not in a dating-level relationship, barely friends, if that, but I am going to be talking with her, etc, like in my last post. Any gift ideas, that are small, but show my affections for her? And please don't say flowers... this is supposed to be white elephant, so I want it to be nice, but not really romantic. Of course, I'm going to ask her friend what she thinks Rachel might like. I have until the 14th to buy this. Thanks
    Also, I'm 14. Check for a post by __init__(me) to see who Im talking about.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #2

    Dec 10, 2013, 09:59 AM
    Why not flowers? Flowers do not have to be alive. They can be a pedant on a necklace or decoration on a notebook.

    A major problem with answering your question is that we don't know her. With some people it can be simple to know what their main interests are. They either talk about them or show them through objects (key chains, necklaces, book covers, etc.) and clothing choices.

    Key chains, bookmarks, etc. come in a wide variety of styles and usually very low cost. The special part of the gift is in matching her interests and the person giving it.
    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Dec 10, 2013, 11:22 PM
    Okay, I'll try to get something that she would really enjoy.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #4

    Dec 11, 2013, 05:42 AM
    I am certain she will like anything you get her.
    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #5

    Dec 11, 2013, 11:59 PM
    Now I'm not sure ifI even should get it for her, because we haven't really talked about anything(she wasn't there last sunday). My gut tells me to wait to get her a gift until I know whether she likes me. I know for certain, that I like her, but if she doesn't like me, then I may as well save my money ;)
    Bonus question for teenage girls: Is it possible for you to like a guy, if he isn't athletic, loves programming(lame right)? Also, can you not like a guy, and then like him, the more he talks to you, and is himself? Like is it even a possibility? I don't know much about girls in general, so...
    Actually, I guess no guy has a girl quite figured out...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Dec 12, 2013, 12:33 AM
    A stuffy is never a bad idea. Stuffy means a stuffed animal. Girls love them. Heck, I'm 43 and I still love getting a stuffy.

    My son is 15, for 3 years now he's had a crush on a girl, her name is Katie. He asked her out when they were both 12. I found out about this after the fact. I wasn't pleased because 12 is too young to date. But she turned him down, so I didn't have to worry about it. They're still friends though, even though he cares about her more than just a friend.

    He's gotten her a gift every Christmas, and every Valentines day. Last Valentines he got her a stuffed dog, with a heart necklace on its neck, I know because I helped pick it all out She loved it. For Christmas he got her a very nice broach, I paid for it. Every year he gets her a gift for Christmas and Valentines. She accepts them, loves them, never gets him anything, and never reciprocates his affection.

    He knows she's not into him that way, but he still loves her, and can't get over her, so he continues to spend money on her. I'm the type of mom that gives advice, and then lets the child learn on his/her own. But 3 years, almost 4, later, I'm beginning to wonder if I should just break his heart and tell him to give up. He hasn't even looked at another girl other than Katie, and she's given him no reason to keep hanging on to her. I'm at a loss on what to do.

    She's never returned his affection, but she loves the gifts. I wish I could say that she's a little b*tch, just strings him along for the gifts, but I've met her a few times, and she's not. She's just young, like my son, and doesn't know how to tell him that no matter what he does, she's not interested.

    In other words, if you like her, and want to get her something, just do it. Go with your gut. But don't expect a gift to make her start liking you the way you like her. If that's the objective, save your money. At her age she'll love anything you get her, but that doesn't mean she'll love you.
    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #7

    Dec 12, 2013, 10:21 AM
    Thanks for the good advice. Just so you know, dating isn't my objective here, because I'm way too young, heck, my sister just had her first date in October, and she's 20. Anyway, I had that same problem about one year ago. I was absolutely smitten with a girl for my whole life(we grew up in the same church, from age 2, to 12, when she left). I loved that girl, with all of my heart, or at least thought I did. She hated me, but would accept my affection(by affection, I mean my time, we only met at church, so anything more than that would be inappropriate), I told her I loved her many times, but she would always say that she didn't like me. But somehow, I had the crazy love-bug, and it didn't click until the last day we were together. She was moving to North Carolina, and I was moving to Arizona. Our last few seconds together, I tried to give her a hug goodbye, and she pulled away. That's when my heart broke. It took me a year for my heart to heal, and even start looking at other girls again. One year, I even bought her earrings, and she said thank you, but she never returned my affection, in any way. I decided that if I was ever to fall for a girl again, that I had to be sure that she would like me back, because in my mind, there's nothing that can break a heart faster, then 7 years of love, suddenly, and violently pulled away from you, and then you realize you never even really loved her, and she never, ever, even liked you. So... a word of advice for your son. Stop loving this girl, you know, deep down inside, that she is only getting gifts out of it, and you are just a puppet, and when the day comes, and she drops you, and doesn't even wink, your heart will break. So, "break up" with her, before it's too late.

    All right, back to the present.
    So, I asked a old friend of hers, if she would like a stuffed dog, and he(yes he, talk about awkward... ) said that she probably would, but not to get her strawberries, because she's allergic. So, I'm going to invite her to the christmas party(she'll know for certain, when I do), and then give the stuffed dog to her. I'm planning on tying a red bow around it's neck, is that a bad idea?
    Anyway, wish me luck ;)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #8

    Dec 12, 2013, 10:52 PM
    I think a stuffed dog is a great idea. If you really want to spruce it up, put a cosmetic necklace around its neck. If you have a dollar store near you you could probably find a necklace for a very fair price, or try Claire's, or another cosmetic jewellery store (not sure what you have in your area, I'm in Canada and the stores are different).

    I wish you the best of luck, and I'm going to get my son to read your post, and hopefully hearing it from someone that's not his mom, someone close to his age, will make it sink in a bit more. So far this year for Christmas he hasn't talked about getting her a gift, so I'm hoping he's done with it. I hate that she strings him along, even though I know that that's really not what she intends to do. She just doesn't know how to turn him down gently. It's hard even when you get older.

    Good luck. Let us know how it goes. :)
    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Dec 12, 2013, 11:00 PM
    I sure will, I'll check out the necklace thing, but I think that I'll just stick with the bow on the dog, because I would only have a chance to get the dog/bow at the store that I'm going to. If I asked to go to claires, that would provoke questions, which would require answers, and I'm really not ready for that confrontation with my parents yet.
    Anyway, wish your son the best of luck, and thankyou for the advice.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #10

    Dec 12, 2013, 11:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by _init_ View Post
    I sure will, I'll check out the necklace thing, but I think that I'll just stick with the bow on the dog, because I would only have a chance to get the dog/bow at the store that I'm going to. If I asked to go to claires, that would provoke questions, which would require answers, and I'm really not ready for that confrontation with my parents yet.
    Anyway, wish your son the best of luck, and thankyou for the advice.
    You're more than welcome. If you need any more advice, just ask, that's what we're here for, and it's been a real please meeting a respectful teen like you. :)
    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #11

    Dec 12, 2013, 11:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    You're more than welcome. If you need any more advice, just ask, that's what we're here for, and it's been a real please meeting a respectful teen like you. :)
    Well, it's been a pleasure to get advice from someone who knows what they're talking about. Thanks to you, I've decided to suck it up and get real about this girl, she deserves my full attention, and my true self, not a nervous wreck. I mean, why would I be half the person I am, when I need to be sincere about my feelings for her? When I talk to her, I have to give her my full attention, not the "you have to be indifferent" garbage. I mean, what self-respecting teenage girl, wants to be considered "just another girl". In my mind, girls want to feel special, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

    ... well that was longer than I planned...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #12

    Dec 12, 2013, 11:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by _init_ View Post
    Well, it's been a pleasure to get advice from someone who knows what they're talking about. Thanks to you, I've decided to suck it up and get real about this girl, she deserves my full attention, and my true self, not a nervous wreck. I mean, why would I be half the person I am, when I need to be sincere about my feelings for her? When I talk to her, I have to give her my full attention, not the "you have to be indifferent" garbage. I mean, what self-respecting teenage girl, wants to be considered "just another girl". In my mind, girls want to feel special, and that's exactly what I'm going to do.

    ... well that was longer than I planned...
    You're totally right. Girls don't really like guys that play games, or pretend to be indifferent. If you want to be a player you can play those games, but if you want a girlfriend, a best friend (and any girlfriend should be your best friend too) than you have to be who you are, be upfront, don't play games.

    My husband is still my best friend to this day. There's no one I'd rather spend time with more than him. That's how you make a relationship work. :)
    _init_'s Avatar
    _init_ Posts: 30, Reputation: 3
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    #13

    Dec 12, 2013, 11:58 PM
    Whew, I'm glad to hear that.
    Thanks for your help. :)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #14

    Dec 13, 2013, 12:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by _init_ View Post
    Whew, I'm glad to hear that.
    Thanks for your help. :)
    You are more than welcome. :)

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