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advicehnein · Nov 24, 2013, 08:17 AM

Im in high school, and I have been dating a guy for three years now. My parents really dislike him, for no reason, since they haven't met him and don't even want to. So we've been having problems because Its hard for us to go out when my parents don't aprove. I love him, so much. He is a great guy and have done so many things to make me happy. We fought four days ago because he was tired of us being apart. He got so mad and said he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Ive seen him at school after the fight and he has been ignoring me and avoiding me. I really love him and I'd do anything to get him back. He said I never did anything to make him happy and he is right. How can I make him happy and get him to want me again?

aloneandscared · Nov 29, 2013, 08:42 AM

Unfortunately this is a tough situation. I do believe that he has a right to want a relationship in which he can see his partner but that doesn't make your feelings any less valid. Perhaps if you put in an effort to communicate with him more. Like call him more often. Have lunch dates at school where it's just you two. Beyond that there isn't much you can do and if he's done then you can't make him want you

talaniman · Nov 29, 2013, 09:12 AM

The last thing you do is chase him and make promises you can't keep and realize he wants more from you than you can deliver since its your parents who are making the rules. What does he want really? For you to go against your parents? Any guy who cares would have taken a chance and made an introduction long ago knowing that's the problem the first place.

He had 3 years to do something about YOUR parents attitude, he did nothing did he? You never said what more time together meant, or your ages. Did he ask you to sneak out or lie to your parents about where you were going, or who you would be with? Did you tell him NO to these things?

How old are you both, and what are the rules of dating your parents have set for you?

Nabby · Dec 1, 2013, 06:10 PM

Firstly I would say you need to get a way to make your parents like him, arrange a dinner ask your them that you would love it if he came over. Let him be himself but you got to ask your parents if you can invite him. After that they should always let yo be with him. Hope this helps.
If he isn't like 25 and you are 19.. I see no reason why they wouldn't like him.

Homegirl 50 · Dec 2, 2013, 04:41 PM

Wow, I can't imagine dating a guy for 3 years and my parents never having seen him or met him. Were you sneaking out or only seeing him at school? What was he wanting you to do to make him happy?
He put up with this. Did he ever make an effort to talk to your parents?
Let him go if he wants. Trying to get someone back who does not want you is desperation.

Itsmebytheway · Dec 3, 2013, 07:10 AM

If you are in a relationship you must learn to appreciate and overcome any obstacles. I know its hard.. but you could discuss with him and meet your parents maybe and talk/ask about it? If that's not all right then try to use the time that you both have as much as you can.. He makes an effort because he wants the relationship.. If you really love him.. try making an effort too :) this might seem childish and troublesome but stuff like this could help the relationship not die down despite not having time with each other or your parents dissaproval..

Example:
1) A letter. Simple as that. Don't use text. A letter is far more sincere even if it's old fashioned. Write down everything you want him to know and how you feel.. tell him you love him and will try to overcome any obstacles if he gives you a chance to prove it. Give the letter to him or just do whatever to have him read it. He should consider it. The problem is, he doesn't know what you're thinking.. he thinks you don't love him.. tell him he misunderstood.

2) If things get better or closer, write a bunch of sweet notes like.. "You look charming today" or "everytime you see the colour blue, think of me/ imagine my face" stuff like that is childish but kind of works.. both of you would feel loved everyday.. write a bunch of them and put it in a jar.. get him to do the same. You give the jar of notes you wrote to him and the same goes for him. Place the jar somewhere you can see every morning and when you wake up everyday, Pick one read and smile :) It could be anything.. like what you love about him etc..

3) Try, I mean really try to talk good things about him like everyday in front of your parents.. human minds are easily affected by stuff like that. Also, he should do something about it.. Like, prove to your parents that he is worthy.

I don't know why your parents don't like him.. but if all else fails.. and you really love him and think he is the one. Don't let go of him despite what your parents think. They gave you life and raised you, and yes they should be protective but they should also let you live your life and not control it including your love life. I wish you luck :) Sorry for the nag ><

Homegirl 50 · Dec 3, 2013, 07:50 AM

It's him who wants out, the parents aren't the problem. And depending on how old you are your parents do have a say so in your life. When they feed clothe and house you, are liable for the things you do, when you are a minor, they have every right.

Oliver2011 · Dec 4, 2013, 08:26 AM

I got to add one thing - my daughter would not date someone that wouldn't take the time to meet the family, especially the father. Period, no questions asked.

talaniman · Dec 4, 2013, 08:31 AM

Why the parents don't want to even meet this fellow is a mystery to me.

Oliver2011 · Dec 4, 2013, 08:40 AM

I am sure there is more to this story...

advicehnein · Dec 5, 2013, 05:09 PM

Thank you all for the advices. I am still 16 and he is 17. My parents don't want to meet him because they say Im too young to date, which is very annoying. I cannot talk my parents out of what they're thinking, they don't want us together. He isan amazing person and we love each other. Which is why the fact that we can't really see each other out of school activities is killing me

Homegirl 50 · Dec 5, 2013, 05:39 PM

Well yeah when you started "dating" him 3 years ago, your were too young. The fact you have kind of been doing it anyway does not help.
I did not let my daughter date until she was 16.
Do your parents know you have been seeing him anyway?

advicehnein · Dec 6, 2013, 09:09 AM

I only have my father in my life, and no he does not know and I cannot tell him.

talaniman · Dec 6, 2013, 09:40 AM

I can understand a father being especially over protective of his young teen age daughter, especially raising you alone. It may be killing you but it's really scary for him. I would be terrified without having a woman to guide my daughter through the woman stuff and normal teen stuff.

And feeling pretty helpless. You sound like a good girl, but I would still be scared.