[msvanessavalle]

This Monday my ex because and I go in for paternity testing on our one year old daughter. We are both very religious christian from same church, I was new to our church he was a youth pastor. Since I doe him I was pregnant he belittled and hurt me verbaly as to why I never wanted to go back or ever speak to him ever again. I went through all this alone. Week before I delivered he ended up at my home, he showed up at my door my mom lied and said I was gone.
Later the next day went to church I spoke w our
Pastor told him the truth agreed to paternity , I assume he is stating I'm a who re I don't know but. He may not be fit, he gave up his two other daughters he has
A drug problem. He has domestic violence charges I found out.

Last and very anger issues, I want to know my rights. He didn't even care to know or ask if I needed anything all year he knew this ius his child. Oh he did reach out and ask if she was his I said no! I did not want him in her life! I think he was trying to be mean because I hurt him by lying to him. As time past my guilt set in and I chose to tell pastor the truth. There was never anyone else, I did care fr this man. Apparently he was us I g church as a hook up service .

This was very I mature games we both played with each other and the only one that realyvsuffered is our daughter. Now she s one and I look in her eyes my heart hurts because of my stupidity. I just want to make the right choice, and not give her a ad father that will hurt er. All his other id hate him. Why? So much to I considered.. I need help. Please advise. We have a means to support her financially financially, my brother can adopt her he has full military retiree t benefits to pay for college, my mother is a retired orthopedic surgeon. They all help me with her I say home and take care of my three daughters. My ex husband helps me as well. What are my rights or the right thing to do.



Thank you



Hope I made sense, the baby crawling all er me as I type this up... sorry. She is the queen.lol.

[ScottGem]

There is this myth that a parent can just sign over their rights. But its just a myth. Only a court can terminate parental rights and courts are very reluctant to do so.

You start by saying you are both very religious. Yet you had sex relations with him and now you claim he does drugs and is abusive etc. No it doesn't make sense.

But the bottom line is, if he is the father, he has rights. If he wants to go to court for visitation you will have to prove he is unfit to a court.

Your brother can't adopt unless you both agree to give up your parental rights.

[cdad]

Also you should be going after him for child support if you arent already doing so. Paternity testing is part of the process. If he has a history of violence and drugs then you can limit his time with the child through the courts.