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flowergirl7890 · Oct 24, 2013, 05:03 PM

Initially I did not want to fall in love with this guy. Yes, I was attracted to him (he's really good looking and charming) but really wasn't ready for any love relationship at that stage as I had a lot on my plate, and had also just walked out of an abusive long-term relationship with an ex. Anyway so I moved to a different town after leaving my ex, and soon this new guy entered into my life, wooed me, said he had fallen in love with me, convinced me to let my feelings flow freely, said I could trust him and that he'd always be there for me, broke through my physical barriers and initiated physical contact (touching and kissing) even though I was initially not willing. Naturally I fell head over heels in love with him and was ecstatic, and even now am crazy for him. I could do anything for him! I saw myself as his gal, and him as my guy.

But all of a sudden, barely a few weeks into the 'relationship', he ditched me and went all cold and silent. Doesn't respond to my calls, e-mails, texts etc. I never stalked him or anything. I send those messages in moderation. Even in person, he avoids me and turns and walks the other way when he sees me. Once when I had finally managed to make him talk, he simply said that he's no longer interested in me. He says I am not good enough for him, that he doesn't see a future with me, and that I must totally stay away from him and not bother him. He even used some really insulting and abusive lines! He's not even willing to be friends.

The pain is unbearable! I just cannot accept the fact that even though I love this guy so deeply and madly, I could never ever have him! I just can't believe that he even had to resort to using insults to ward me off! I don't know what is my fault in all this. Meanwhile, he has already moved on as if nothing happened, and is now onto his next girl. This is killing me! It seems like only yesterday he that he used to sit and hold my hands and kiss me, and already now he's doing the same things with a new girl. I feel absolutely miserable and heartbroken as if there is no tomorrow. Yes I had experienced worst kinds of trauma in the name of love before... had my heart broken... been cheated... experienced one-sided love as well... but nothing compares to the current one, the intensity with which I love this guy, and the unbearable pain I am feeling at the prospect of never having him in my life! I am living my life as normally as possible, and doing my daily tasks. But it still hurts like hell! Anyone got any insights?

talaniman · Oct 24, 2013, 06:08 PM

Hang in there until time heals your heart, and seek the support of family and friends while you stay busy with fun activities. Its never easy being dumped, but it's a temporary setback.

Still sucks though.

talaniman · Oct 25, 2013, 03:02 PM

Tell him to leave you alone and get his help elsewhere.

"Sorry, I can't help you" That should be enough. If its not...........................................just say NO!!!!!!!

flowergirl7890 · Oct 25, 2013, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Tell him to leave you alone and get his help elsewhere.

"Sorry, I can't help you" That should be enough. If its not...........................................just say NO!!!!!!!

Haha no idea if I can ever bring myself to do that! Rather I am the one who either gets flattered just because he asked me for help or else I am actually the one offering the help just to get a few mins of his attention (and he just exploits it!). I need to stop, I know. It's pathetic.

talaniman · Oct 25, 2013, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by flowergirl7890

Haha no idea if I can ever bring myself to do that! Rather I am the one who either gets flattered just because he asked me for help or else I am actually the one offering the help just to get a few mins of his attention (and he just exploits it!). I need to stop, I know. It's pathetic.

Not pathetic, just human, and can change your own thoughts and actions. Takes some practice.