[Kxk5347]

So my boyfriend recently broke up with me. He said he was too stressed out and a relationship wasn't really benefiting him at the moment. He was unsure we we stood, but he would keep in mind the time we spent together. He also said how he wanted to get back where he was mentally before doing anything. I understand why he did what he did, though I'm upset there aren't any hard feelings. I haven't talked to him since the break up which was on Tuesday. I've seen him around campus a few times (we attend a small college.) Every time I see him he acts as though we're strangers and completely ignores me. No I don't expect a full blown conversation, but a simple hi or a smile wouldn't hurt. I want to tell him that I don't have any hard feelings and that there is no harm in us simply being friendly towards each other. (We're also apart of the same friend group) I want to get back together with him, but I'm giving that a month before even thinking about discussing it. But if I just want to text him to tell him that there aren't any hard feelings, how long should I wait? Is it too soon to do it now. I just can't stand things being so strange between us. I'm not sure that we'll even be getting back together but that doesn't mean I don't want him as a friend. What should I do? How should I approach this situation?

[Jake2008]

It is far too soon to consider an ex lover, as a person to be friends with. From what he said, and from what you understood (by your own words), the relationship is completely, and totally over. That means, it's over. No messages, no contact, no texts, no phone calls.

You are only beginning to get used to the idea of being without him. The very beginning. Like a horse race, when the bell goes and the gates go up, and the horses are only just starting to run. None of those horses is going to turn around, go back into their stall. They keep running, and one will win, and all the others will fail.

That is how relationships work at your age. You will go through a lot of ponies before you find your stallion.

Don't lament over the one that didn't work out. Accept that this is a part of life, and a part of growing up, and all of us go through the pain, suffering, and rejection of being dumped at one time or another. You will get through it. But, if you are already looking for ways to communicate with him, you are only shorting yourself.

He has accepted that it is over, and so too, must you. Stop yourself from thinking that 'only' a text of good will, will make this better. It won't. You need to realize yourself, that this is but one of probably more than a few, that will not work out. And that takes time.

[talaniman]

Leave him alone, as he obviously doesn't want to talk to you at all, let alone be friends.