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    peteykrh1james's Avatar
    peteykrh1james Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 28, 2013, 09:52 AM
    Father Signing Birth Certificate
    I had a vasectomy 4 yrs before I married... She had an affair, had a son, convinced me he was mine. I signed birth certificate and did the right thing raising him. My adult son from previous marriage, was visiting and my wife became pregnant with my granddaughter. She resembles me, as does my adult son. She convinced me again she was mine. I signed birth cert. again. This info.still has yet to be proven. Son 11 and daughter(granddaughter) 8yrs old. Wife had 3rd affair and told me to move out, she wants a divorce. 14months later she hasn't filed. However she applied for TANIF, papers came to my job for child support. During these last 14 months, she hasn't let me see them. But she wants money.I gave her 7500.00 of our 9000.00 taxes. (She kept telling me it was for my children) Next she says they don't want to see me, they are not even my kids. Im getting ready to file for divorce, and establishing paternity. Anybody have factual answer as to my responsibility to these kids that are not mine.
    AK lawyer's Avatar
    AK lawyer Posts: 12,592, Reputation: 977
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    #2

    Sep 28, 2013, 10:25 AM
    The chidren born to your wife are presumed to be your children. Depending on the state in which the divorce is filed, it might be possible to rebut this presumption.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #3

    Sep 28, 2013, 10:43 AM
    First, any question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

    However, everywhere in the US, when a child is born to a married couple, the husband is presumed to be the father. So in the US you are the legal father of any children born to your wife during your marriage. Therefore, you are responsible for the children until a court relieves you of that responsibility. The problem is whether you can challenge paternity will depend on your local laws. In some places it may be too late to do so.

    When she "told you to move out", did you just go? In most areas you cannot be forced to leave the marital home until ordered by a court. As far as seeing the children, what have you done to see them? You should have gone to court for visitation. You should not have waited for her to file, you should have filed for divorce yourself.

    Finally, I don't understand this statement; "my wife became pregnant with my granddaughter." Are you saying that your son is the father? Do you have proof of that?
    peteykrh1james's Avatar
    peteykrh1james Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 28, 2013, 11:12 AM
    I am filing establishing paternity, my x wife of my adult son refuses to inform our son about "his" daughter, she says he has enough problems. I know, it makes me sick too. Yes my adult son and my wife slept together and now she 8yrs old and both kids believe Im their father. Colorado is our location . I have to find out if Im their father, and with that answer, begin to know my kids again. She refuses to let me talk to them on phone. She moved and refuses to give address.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Sep 28, 2013, 11:51 AM
    Ok, in Colorado you can bring an action to determine paternity until the children are 18. However, if you do bring such an action and DNA determines you are not the father, then your rights and obligations towards the children will be terminated. Based on the mother's actions you will probably never see the children again (at least not until they turn 18). They will no longer be your kids.

    If you want to "begin to know my kids again", then I suggest you do not want to file for paternity. Have you engaged an attorney? I strongly suggest that you do so.

    Biology is only one determinate of paternity. A parent is the person who raises a child. Is there when they are sick, shows up at their sporting events, recitals, etc. You have been a father to your son for 11 years and daughter for 8. If you want to throw that away because of biology, then go ahead with your plans to file for paternity. But if you still consider them as your kids (as you should), then fight for them. Take the mother to court not for paternity, but for custody and visitation. It is illegal for her to keep them from you as their legal father.

    You might even get primary custody given her actions to deceive you and block you from them. In any case, you need to do some soul searching before you decide what action to take and, I would strongly suggest, consult with an attorney.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Sep 28, 2013, 09:13 PM
    I am not sure that it is all that easy determining paternity when it could be your sons because your son being your son shares your DNA. In my stat once you sign the birth certificate you are stuck with the child support. Have you tried filing for visitation rights?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Sep 28, 2013, 09:40 PM
    You are the legal father and will remain so, until it is challenged in court.

    Without a court order for visitation, she does not have to allow you to see the children.
    You needed to file for visitation as soon as the separation happened.

    Also of course she has a right to request child support, and even child custody.

    You need to file and also file for divorce. You need to inform the lab doing the DNA test that there is a chance child could be from close family member, and yes the DNA test can prove, although they may want DNA from the other family member for comparison also. Example, 3 brothers, were with same women, they can determine which of the 3 brothers it was.

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