[poohhead]

Hi there I was wandering if anyone could give me some advice here is the situation .
I have been seeing a 23 year old lady for about 6 months I`m I'm 30 . I have not had many serious relationship two actually. Any how it was amazing we couldn't have been nicer to each other . Looked like the real thing . Then I found that she had been flirting with someone else . I envited her to my house to talk it out as I was hurt she told me there was nothing in it just emails . Which I do believe . But unfortunately that day I saw these emails was two days before was going to ask her to marry me . Which we had talked about and she said she would marry me . I know now that 6 months is not a long time now I guess I got caught up in the moment and showed her the ring .she said don't give it to me now until you're a 1000%. Anyway she was really upset that night I comforted her she said she loved me and wanted to be with me as I asked her to be honest with herself and me .

She went home . Then I went up to hers next day there was no real communication she turn it around on me for looking at her mail etc. then the next day it was sorry not going to work.
We have been in contact for the duration of the split up which is now 6 weeks ish. She said she would meet up but put it off . Then she came down for her birthday I had gifts for her flowers card and a present that showed I remembered something that she wanted that we planned for in the future . Which I thought brownie points . Then it all went wrong I have been wanting to meet up and sit and talk for along time to get things back on track as I believe in us . I got rather drunk when I was out she ask for some drinks I got the wrong order and she walked off so rightly I got pissed off with her . Said things that I can't remember . So I left a message to say sorry as she said I made a foul of myself . Now left it at that . I would really like to get back with her as the person I met was lovely and I believe that's her true personality but she is being stubborn and strong .

As I have not been in this situation before of wanting to get an ex back I don't know how to play it what do I do . I have hurt her made her angry and prob should not have been so quick to do the chasing as I orig found her to be lest than honest and hurtful to me . As she did not tell this other guy about me who lives in another country . We spent new year together but she told him she stayed in with mates . This was about 3 months into our relationship! What do I do ? I have been the one who has done all the chasing I need to know what to do next I miss her so

[shygrneyzs]

By all means, let this fish go back in the sea. She needs some time to grow up. She has not been totally honest and forthright with you. I think she likes the idea of having the companionship but she still wants to play the field too. Let her explore all she wants to, just do not be the one holding the door open for when she decides to try and come back.

Next time, don't be so anxious about zeroing in on a long term commitment. There is a very good, excellent book written for singles called, "Single Wisdom" by Dr. Paris Fenner-Williams. The book tactfully presents an easy-to-use guide of practical information designed specifically for the unmarried person in their pursuit of a significant other and psychological contentment. Very strongly recommended as an in-depth study of the human mind process, for the "user-friendly" guidance presented, as well as the precise and informative content, Single Wisdom is "must reading" for unmarried, divorced, or widowed people seeking an understanding of what might help them in their future pursuit of a significant other.

[talaniman]

While I understand being caught up in the moment talking long term after 6 months is insane, as you know nothing about her. Don't call or take her calls and get your feet back on the ground, and work on getting a life without her in it, that you enjoy. Put this behind you and move on. Chase your own happiness, not her.

[shygrneyzs]

Tal is right - six months is not even enough time to really know someone well enough to get married.

[momincali]

You already know that 6 months is not enough time to be with someone before proposing marriage. If she is willing to date you again, then do that, just that for at least a year and a half. Date, have fun, be relaxed, get to know her, not only what you want to see, or what you saw in the begininng, but look at her with both your eyes wide open. Don't be engaged during this time (hold on to your ring, don't give it to her just yet), date and if she wants to date others during this time also, then you know she's not ready to be exclusive with you.