[Claire58]

I met a guy through a mutual friend. Immediately we met, we hit it off and before long we were intimate. Soon after I instinctively asked if he had a girlfriend, and he admitted that he did. I wasn't hurt because I wasn't looking for a relationship at the time. I was just confused, because I'd never been in the mistress position before. Unfortunately, we were both hooked and couldn't stop seeing each other, and I never asked anything about his girlfriend, in my mind she didn't exist.

I began to notice a change in him towards me as we got to know each other better. He called and texted more. He'd get me food if I even offhandedly mention I was hungry. He'd even offered to buy me a tampon one time my monthly started unexpectedly. He later confided in me that he was afraid he was starting to fall for me. Problem is, I'm beginning to more than like him too, I think of him first anytime I have a problem and he doesn't hesitate to help.

I just want to know if it's even possible that we could ever be together, cause I know that if he could cheat on his girlfriend, he could cheat on me as well. But he's so caring and is apparently in a dilemma over his girlfriend and me. Although I've never asked him to leave her. So please, no judgement, I just want to know if we could ever work or if I just have my head in the clouds

[N0help4u]

More than likely he likes things where they are so he most likely won't do anything to change things. In his eyes he has the best of both worlds and he sees you content in your rule in his life. So you either continue, living in your 'in my mind she didn't exist' and be seconds or you wake up and decide you want a real relationship for you rather than pleasing him. If a guy really isn't happy in their marriage that they feel they have to find a fling you shouldn't sit back and tolerate that, you either break it off or you tell him you are done with him and 'look you up when your relationship is finalized' so he knows you mean business.

[joypulv]

How long ago did he say he has a girlfriend?

[Alty]

If he only has a girlfriend, not a wife, than his decision is easy. He either wants to be with you, or he wants to be with her. The fact that he hasn't dumped her to be with you, speaks volumes.

Yes he's caring to you, he doesn't want the booty calls to stop. But, he doesn't care enough to dump the girlfriend. It's very clear who he wants to be with.

[Claire58]

Thank u guys! Actually, even though I care for him, I still don't want a relationship right now in my life, it's just sex between us. But now from what you've said I have an insight into what he's thinking. Best of both worlds hit it on the head.

[talaniman]

What makes you think he has just one girlfriend, or friends with benefits besides you? Likely you are one of many.

[N0help4u]

I use to kid with my bosses son about all his girlfriends, I'd say one for cooking, one for cleaning, one for laundry, one for errands and all just for sex.

[Jake2008]

I don't think that any woman with any personal standards at all, would be involved with a man, who has a girlfriend already. Or a wife.

If it's just for sex, that really also lowers the bar in my opinion, of a serious relationship ever happening past the bedroom.

How nice he does little things for you. And he says the right words, and you pretend he's single, or what was it you said- to you 'she' doesn't exist.

But she does. And still does. Every time you are with him, she's waiting for him to return to her, and he does.

The only way to know if anything beyond the bedroom, and beyond the cheating the both of you are doing together behind his girlfriends back, is to tell him that until he makes up his mind, you are off limits.

Tell him you won't play second fiddle for any man, and don't want to share a relationship with him and another woman. When he is single, tell him to give you a call.

Otherwise, you will remain in the position of allowing yourself to be used, and leaving his girlfriend thinking that she is the only one.