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TVC11 · Sep 15, 2013, 03:40 PM

We are both 18 and in college, her's being out of town. We have been through a lot together and loved each other very much. When she left to go up to school, it wasn't even a week after and we already had an argument, we have had arguments before when she was in town and when she was up in school, but this was, what I felt, a major one.

Before we would always argue about how my parents have control over me because of my only child syndrome. She says that it feels like they are pulling me back instead of letting me grow, which was sadly true. We planned to do so many things together and wanted to do things this passed summer but with my parents keeping me from growing, we weren't able to do what we wanted to do, like sleep over at her house and go camping and things we would do alone.

What also came up was me visiting her up in school, which I had no issue with wanting to do that but I was nervous about asking my parents because of the answers from the past about even sleeping over on the couch. It seems like I'm the issue of why she broke up with me because I was the one always causing the problems it felt like. I was over protective of her because I love her and care so much about her that I never wanted anything to happen to her, she was my life. She would get annoyed when I would say be careful when she would drink a little because I have had bad experiences in my family involving alcohol. There's been other things to that I've done to annoy her but I had stop that and started to be the guy that I was when I asked her out.

I started getting help for my family issues and the alcohol issues in my family but I feel that it's to late for me to take back all the times I said something stupid about alcohol when she would have some.

Going back to the going up to see her thing, I asked my dad and he said yes go ahead. But my issue with that is I'm busy and have always been busy which is also why she left me it feels. She says that I've been always busy and had to make time to be with her which was sadly true once but I put an end to having to make time for her because when people would ask me to do something I will now say no.

I'm sorry for going back and forth through this it's just she jut broke up with me for real I think because she would always say that we are done but than it changed because we were able to work through it face to face. I told her that it will all work out when she comes down in a week for her birthday. But she says she can't wait. I know I'm missing leaving something's out but that's because of my mental state right now.

I didn't know who else to talk to so I came here.
If anything is unclear or need more info on things , please ask for it.
Thanks.

N0help4u · Sep 15, 2013, 03:43 PM

You are living miles apart. You had an argument. She being in college and not seeing you on a regular basis had time to think about HER and where she sees HERSELF in the future, her goals. Then add, being in college, that she very well wants to explore single life

TVC11 · Sep 15, 2013, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

You are living miles apart. You had an argument. She being in college and not seeing you on a regular basis had time to think about HER and where she sees HERSELF in the future, her goals. Then add, being in college, that she very well wants to explore single life

But it has only been a week and this is the second year in college. And it was like she changed over night. She won't even tell me why or talk to me.

N0help4u · Sep 15, 2013, 04:18 PM

Then she probably feels your argument was the breaking point. Maybe she is still having issues with whether your parents are still trying to control you. Maybe she just wants something different in her life. Maybe it's a combination of everything I suggested and then more. She has her free will and you can't force her to stick with you or to make her tell you why. You have to move on and deal with it.

Homegirl 50 · Sep 15, 2013, 04:56 PM

Maybe her being away she has grown out of you or maybe she has met someone.
Either way you two need to know what it's like to be individuals apart from each other. You have been dating since you were 14?
This can't be all your fault, she stayed 4 years. Don't be so hard on yourself and discover who You are apart from her.

talaniman · Sep 15, 2013, 05:05 PM

Of course its scary and confusing being dumped, but maybe its time to find out what you stand for without your parents or a girl always being by your side. It's a growing pain and a lesson of how fast life can change and that feelings of love are not always forever.

In time you will come to understand this. Be grateful for what you shared while you shared it but its time for you to make changes in your own life.