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Gibblets · Mar 28, 2007, 06:27 AM

Like many of you here, I have my own "ex-story". We dated for over 5 years- started going out in high school and lasted up until a few months after college graduation. She broke it off because she felt the need to date other guys, and I wasn't the best boyfriend I could have been, so I didn't really have much pull to argue with her about her decision.

It hurt a lot at first, and I did all the things you aren't supposed to do like begging, calling 100x a day, writing e-mails, etc. I even drove to her house to beg.

She's now living with a guy she met 2 weeks after she broke up with me. However I believe she planted the "seeds" of that new relationship long before.

I've been going out with LOTS of girls. Literally a new girl every week. I've done dates, I've done hook ups, and I even have a crazy threesome with two girls a few weeks ago! All my friends say I'm living the life now, but I don't agree. I feel empty and lonely inside, and I miss my ex from time to time, in intense bouts of longing and depression.

I don't know how long this is going to take. It's been nearly a year now since we broke up.

Any advice?

where did i go wrong · Mar 28, 2007, 07:28 AM

You need to take a step back, find out what it is YOU want, not your mates, and go for it...
If that means meeting someone new and getting serious again, then maybe you need to put in a bit more effort

sheebsta · Mar 28, 2007, 10:02 AM

The only advice I can give you is to take a giant step backwards and try and sort out how you really feel. I personally wouldn't recommend getting into another serious relationship until YOU feel that you are over this girl. If you try to start another relationship before you're ready, you'll just end up hurting yourself, and someone else.
Try and be easy on yourself! Five years is a long time to be in a relationship, and I think you just need to stop pressuring yourself to 'move on'. So it's been a year almost? So what? Trying to force yourself to move on before you're ready isn't going to help you to get over her any faster. Obviously you need more time, and although that is frustrating, beating yourself up about it isn't going to help at all.

momincali · Mar 28, 2007, 10:50 AM

You're scratching the wrong itch. Being with 10 girls a week isn't going to make you feel better, just more tired. You were with this girl for 5 years. That's a long time to be with someone. How about you try being with You! Do you know yourself? Can you see how you've grown over the last 5 years? Have you grown over the last 5 years? What are you doing with your life? Where are you going and where do you want to be in 5 years? Work on that. Solid357 is right. Hang with your buddies, make new ones, don't worry so much about the dating scene right now. Your friends who say that you're "living the life" are immature. They think that this is where it's at, you're finding out that it's not. You need to stay busy. Even better, stay busy helping others. I know that sounds corny, but it's true. Helping other people will really put things in perspective, makes our life's problems seem trivial at best.

As for the ex, you're right, no one meets a guy and moves in 2 weeks later unless you're a Dumb Bunny. She'd met him way before you guys broke up, which means she was cheating. You realized you were not the best boyfriend a little too late, don't be so quick to put that part behind you, learn from it and don't ever forget it. Your next relationship will benefit from your growth.

talaniman · Mar 28, 2007, 01:17 PM

Solid, and momincali, make excellent points as those sexy escapades are not filling the hole in your soul, so build a life you enjoy, and make yourself happy. Stay busy with work and things you like to do and people you like to be around. Forget hooking up for now, and just start enjoying yourself. Volunteering is an excellent way to dealing with your problems, and be of service to those less fortunate than you. Its hard, I know and it does take time.