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    jswxlovesx's Avatar
    jswxlovesx Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 16, 2013, 04:43 PM
    Baby?
    I'm a bit confused...
    I'm 18 but 19 in 2 weeks nod I'm in a relationship with a lad I have known since I was little, we get on great.
    Recently I have been dreaming of myself being pregnant, and when I think about it, a part of me actually wants a baby now, I have always said I wanted children since I can remember, I can't wait to have my own family and to have someone to look up to me. I have a job so I'm getting money each week, buh then I have a little voice in my head telling me to wait. My partner would love to have a kid now buh u don't know what to do... I just need some advice and help. If I did have a kid now then I would have the support I need from friends and family. 70% of me want s a baby now then 30% says wait...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Aug 16, 2013, 05:10 PM
    The 30% is the part you should be listening to.

    When you write "my husband and I want a baby", then you're ready.

    Financially there's never a good time to have a child. There is a better time though. At 18, even if you're employed, I doubt you can afford a child. Do you live on your own? Do you have your own home?

    He's your partner, not your spouse. If he wants a family so much, become part of that family by becoming his wife. If neither one of you are ready to commit to marriage, how can you hope to commit to a child. It's very easy to walk away when there's nothing binding you.

    Make it legal, then discuss children. You have many years before you have to fish or cut bait. Your biological clock is going to be ticking for a long time. No hurry. Listen to the logical part of your mind, not the childish "I want, I want" part.

    Good luck.
    Irish_rebal's Avatar
    Irish_rebal Posts: 26, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Aug 16, 2013, 05:29 PM
    You should wait at least a couple more years. Children really take away from your social life
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Aug 16, 2013, 05:38 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Irish_rebal View Post
    You should wait at least a couple more years. Children really take away from ur social life
    Well, the theory is that once you're old enough to have a child, you won't have to worry about a social life. You'll be married, working, and you won't have time for a social life, even without a child.

    My theory. If you're not ready to commit to the man or woman you want to have a child with, if you're not ready to put a ring on it and make it legal, then why are you having a child?

    That's what's wrong with the world today. Marriage has become obsolete. No one is willing to make that commitment anymore. Why would you have a child with someone that doesn't even care enough about you to make you family?
    Irish_rebal's Avatar
    Irish_rebal Posts: 26, Reputation: 0
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    #5

    Aug 16, 2013, 07:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Well, the theory is that once you're old enough to have a child, you won't have to worry about a social life. You'll be married, working, and you won't have time for a social life, even without a child.

    My theory. If you're not ready to commit to the man or woman you want to have a child with, if you're not ready to put a ring on it and make it legal, then why are you having a child?

    That's what's wrong with the world today. Marriage has become obsolete. No one is willing to make that commitment anymore. Why would you have a child with someone that doesn't even care enough about you to make you family?
    And that's why a child can wait. A child will take a lot from your life. You are a bit young. You still got a lot of partying before a baby comes and stops that
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Aug 16, 2013, 08:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Irish_rebal View Post
    And that's why a child can wait. A child will take alot from your life. You are a bit young. You still got alot of partying befor a baby comes and stops that
    Exactly. I was married, and turned 28 ten days after my first child was born, and it was still hard. We had a house, we each had a car of our own, we both had great careers, and it was still hard, even with family support.

    I couldn't imagine doing it alone at the age of 18, and facts are, she will likely end up raising this child on her own. Teen guys often long to spread their seed, but if they're not willing to commit to the woman by marrying her before getting her pregnant, it's unlikely that they'll commit to a child. When the going gets tough, which it will, they go. That's the norm with teen pregnancy. Few teens actually stay with the father of their child, and few children of teen parents actually have both parents in their lives.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Aug 16, 2013, 08:17 PM
    Now is the time for you and partner to share and enjoy each other, at least for several more years. Plenty of time for a baby.

    Also, what about if pregnancy is bad and you can not work, for perhaps 6 months, where is money for bills coming from ?

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