[flowercube]

I'm in need of some real good advice.

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. At first, life seemed peachy. He is the perfect boyfriend: respectful, always buying me anything I want or lay eyes upon, gets along with my family and vise versa, calling just to say "I love you", and always reassuring me that I'm the only girl in his life. Life was good.

Then, everything previously stated happens over and over and over again, with absolutely NO space. The conversations are the same, I want to avoid his calls. About 6 months into our relationship, I start to get these "feelings" that I could not explain. I tried to break it off because it seemed like the thing to do. But I got the famous guilt trip, "give it another chance", "we can fix this", "you'll get over it." So, I gave into his begging and sobbing and tried it again. Life was good... sort of.

These "feelings" just kept coming back. I tried to tell him, because we are both so open to each other, and he didn't know what to say either. He told me, "This is how you were feeling last time, and look where we are now, good as ever!" That's what he thought.

I began to feel trapped and stuck. But I'm not married! And I'm only 16 for crying out loud! (He's 19, by the way). I started seeking for advice, and the same statements were said: "He gives you everything, he's perfect, how can you be so mean?" or, "Tell him how you feel." or the famous, "Only you can figure it out." This didn't help much.

Then, "our future" began to become the topic of most of our conversations. I'll admit, I was okay with it for awhile. But I always remind him that the present is more important. He agrees... but slowly gets back into the future being even more grander. And every time we see a couple with a baby, he squeezes my hand and gives me this goofy smile. I really don't like it when he does that.

I have tried talking to him about space. He'll listen... but then slowly gets back into his old ways. I recently broke it off, there was much tears and he sang me the "You are my sunshine" song (which he knows is my weakness) and I went home crying my eyes out with my mom reminding me to stay strong... but I couldn't stand to see or hear him sad. So I became his "girlfriend" again to put his broken heart back together.

I love him, and he's a great guy, and we both have a lot in common, but I can't handle this relationship anymore. I want out. But it takes a lot to break off a whole year and a half and I really don't want to hurt him. Does anyone have some solid advice, please?

[Jiser]

Is this really love? Have you effectively communicated with him about the issues?

I can see how his smothering has driven you to despair and you cannot live like that its unfair on you as well as him. You must sit down with him face to face and have an honest discussion and tell him the problems you are having and why (if you decide to break up with him).

A year and a half is meaningful yes but you have only one life and allot of years left. To be thinking about marriage/babies at such a young age - your boyfriend is inconsiderate and just wrong. Personally I don't see myself being ready until my late 20's and even 30's and that won't be till I have met the right person, I am happy in myself and have a good secure job etc.

Relationships come and go, that is change - it is the only constant in this world. Life is too short to be unhappy. At 16 you should be having a great time and discovering the world and what it has to offer, nothing wrong with having a BF/GF but it should be fun not so "BAM BAM BAM!!!" in your face all the time.

If you do decide to break up with him, he honest and explain that you should not have contact with each other. Perhaps one day you may be friends but not until you have both healed - try not to give him false hope as you will be breaking his heart.

Treat it as a life experience - move on and learn from the past but sometimes please remember it is not worth going back!

[flowercube]

Thank you so much for the great advice, it helps more then you know. You must have been in a similar situation.