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    youngmom_89's Avatar
    youngmom_89 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 14, 2013, 02:09 AM
    What to do when my 6yr old daughter seen a sex video of my boyfriend
    She would download games on my phone and beg to play.I then went to use my phone one day and noticed sex videos were deleted and also videos of my boyfriend and I having sex. I have no clue how to approach the situation! I really need help. I asked her if she seen anything in mommy's phone that she did not like and deleted she first lied and then told the truth I told her those are bad things for children to see and that only adults see things like that I just don't know what else to say or what to do someone please help.. we are leaving with my boyfriend and she now acts funny towards me and him
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Aug 14, 2013, 02:12 AM
    Trying to explain this to her will only make matters worse. You can't explain sexual matters to a six year old in a clear and concise way. I would not say anything so she forgets it and just make sure she can't view that any more.

    You just feel guilty that she saw it that is way you think she is actng funny towards you and him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Aug 14, 2013, 04:34 AM
    Do not start telling her that it was bad, we do ont want to give her a complex thinking that sex is wrong and bad, this can cause all sort of problems latter in life.

    The issue here is control of the porn, and keeping it on a phone that you allow the child to use.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #4

    Aug 14, 2013, 06:19 AM
    Porn and sex video's on your phone isn't a good thing for anybody to see, let alone a naturally curious six year old.

    She was smart to delete them.

    Better idea- put a lock on your phone, and not discuss it any further.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #5

    Aug 14, 2013, 06:35 AM
    Keep a good eye on her. I have noticed kids that are exposed to porn or have watched their mom having sex get extra curious ir take it lightly and end up trying sex acts that many kids wouldn't even think up at their young age.
    youngmom_89's Avatar
    youngmom_89 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Aug 14, 2013, 06:51 AM
    I feel horrible for having them in there, but I had the videos away in a separate folder where someone would not notice unless there looking through all albums! I should have been way more careful but I guess I just wasn't expecting her to be anyehre in that section of the phone.her games that she plays are directly on my front screen . An that's directly where she goes , but I guess after letting her use the phone on her own she decided to wonder on so yes I feel guilty. But however I don't feel its OK to just not say anything I feel like her mind is now corrupted and no longer innocent and I'm scared she would try acts of anything somewhat sexual with other children? So I'm curious on what would be appropriate to say.but I do understand she is way too young to say much.im just hurt and confused.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Aug 14, 2013, 06:57 AM
    I'm sorry you used the word 'bad.' Maybe you can gently change that around to a very basic discussion of mommies and daddies hugging and touching and loving each other differently from how they hug and love their children. IF she continues to act uncomfortable around both of you. The cat is out of the bag, so she deserves a little explanation. Children need to see nice touching between parents - a smooch in the kitchen, a surprise hug while vacuuming, hugging him around the neck while he tries to eat his dinner so he can't get the food in his mouth - warmth, humor, fun. That's how they learn about intimacy, and that it isn't scary and violent when it's loving and mutual. The discussion you have with her should be short, but the actions between all 3 of you with regard to touching should be carefully thought out over many months by you and your boyfriend, almost like working on a movie. Without being unnatural of course. Don't call her attention to it, or even talk about it - she is capable of absorbing what she sees.

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