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sarah135 · Aug 9, 2013, 03:15 AM

My brother has a baby with his ex. She stopped him seeing his baby for the first 4 months. He then got a letter through from her lawyer saying he can see his baby 2 days a week for 2 hours. But now she has stopped him seeing his baby again. She has also stopped all contact with my mum and dad as well. She goes out drinking and partying every weekend and leaves the baby with anyone that will have her. She is 7 months old and we have seen her a few times and its really getting to him. Is there anything we can do?

Curlyben · Aug 9, 2013, 03:17 AM

Get a good lawyer and take it through the courts properly.

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2013, 03:28 AM

Go to family court and file joint custody. Your brother has to be the one to do that. OF course once it goes to court sh is going to want to file child support

ScottGem · Aug 9, 2013, 04:42 AM

I'm assuming your brother has not gone to court at all on custody and visitation issues. That means he is putting his rights totally under her control. She calls the shots and he is jumping to her tune.

So he needs to get off the stick. Since she has an attorney he needs one or he is likely to lose in court. So he gets an attorney and files for joint legal custody and visitation.

Do you know if he is on the birth certificate or signed an Acknowledgement of Paternity. It would probably be a good idea if he asked the court for a paternity test to be done.

I really fail to understand why he has done nothing through the courts at this point. If it is "really getting to him", why hasn't taken action?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 9, 2013, 06:43 AM

It appears your brother is just not doing anything, so the question is why, he has not hired an attorney. Without a court order on visitation, the child's mother can really do what ever she wants. Time for him to go to court

sarah135 · Aug 9, 2013, 10:34 AM

He has been to a lawyer but she settled it by letting him have his daughter 2 days a week for 2 hours. Yes he is on the birth certificate. He has tried but he is out of work and on job seekers. He has tried to settle it outside of court as he doesn't want his child to go through all of it. They settled it out of court and we have a letter from her lawyer saying that he has her 2 days a week for 2 hours but now has cut all contact with us

N0help4u · Aug 9, 2013, 10:40 AM

Polos like he is going to have to take it to court

AK lawyer · Aug 9, 2013, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by sarah135

... They settled it out of court and we have a letter from her lawyer saying that he has her 2 days a week for 2 hours but now has cut all contact with us

Even an "out-of-court" settlement should be reduced to a judge-ordered stipulated agreement. That way, as in your case, something can be done if the other party goes back on her/his word.

ScottGem · Aug 9, 2013, 11:55 AM

As AK said, such an agreement needs to be ratified by a court. Otherwise she can just back out with no consequence. So your brother has tried to negotiate outside of court, if he goes into court and shows the agreement and tells the judge that he entered into that agreement in good faith, but after a short time, she cut off contact again, I would hope the judge will see that this was just to avoid having visitation ordered by the court.

Bottom line is he needs visitation to be set by a court so he has some leverage against her reneging on the agreement.