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    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:21 PM
    Can me and my husband keep my step-son from his mother?
    My step son is 5years old. My husband and his mother have no court visitation set up, and he had a paternity test done when he was born. She has no job, lives with her dad and spent a couple months in jail last year for heroin. Has also had a constant warrant for her arrest since 17 (is 24). If she wants to pick him up, do I have to let her take him? Or can I refuse her parental time?
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:25 PM
    I live in Michigan if that helps
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:31 PM
    No, you can't, not without going to court.
    By you, I mean your husband. You can't do anything yourself.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:53 PM
    This could turn nasty very quickly - why no Court ordered visitation/custody?

    Not getting who/what/when there in writing can become a very big issue.

    And, unfortunately, you have nothing legally to do with the situation. The father needs to take action.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Aug 4, 2013, 03:58 PM
    You have no power here. You cannot do anything.

    Your husband has to go to court to establish custody and visitation. Right now, the 2 parents have equal rights since there are no court orders detailing custody and visitation. If she shows up and you refuse to hand over the child, she can call the police, show the birth certificate listing her as the mother and the police will, in all likelihood, force you to turn the child over. And she can keep the child and not allow visitation to the father since I see nothing in your post establishing him as the legal father.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #6

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:07 PM
    Your husband needs to get a custody arrangement set up. IF he can prove she is a danger, not just unstable, then he can request supervised visits. IF he likes the set up the way it is then nothing can be done. Its not your place to refuse or buck their system. Its not up to you to let or not let. That can only cause problems between you and your husband. What things concern you about your son's relationship with the mother aside from her record, instability and your own personal dislike of the situation?
    Oh, not to mention, the son could grow up hating your interference, because it has been proven that many kids have a bond with their parents even in the worse case scenerio's
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:33 PM
    Its both of us that don't like him going with her. What concerns us is how she is raising him. I wasn't looking for anyone's personal opinions on my situation. Just the legalities

    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Your husband needs to get a custody arrangement set up. IF he can prove she is a danger, not just unstable, then he can request supervised visits. IF he likes the set up the way it is then nothing can be done. Its not your place to refuse or buck their system. Its not up to you to let or not let. That can only cause problems between you and your husband. What things concern you about your son's relationship with the mother aside from her record, instability and your own personal dislike of the situation?
    Oh, not to mention, the son could grow up hating your interference, because it has been proven that many kids have a bond with their parents even in the worse case scenerio's
    worriedstepmom's Avatar
    worriedstepmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:41 PM
    He is the legal father. That is what I meant by him getting the paternity test done to prove he was the father.
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    You have no power here. You cannot do anything.

    Your husband has to go to court to establish custody and visitation. Right now, the 2 parents have equal rights since there are no court orders detailing custody and visitation. If she shows up and you refuse to hand over the child, she can call the police, show the birth certificate listing her as the mother and the police will, in all likelihood, force you to turn the child over. And she can keep the child and not allow visitation to the father since I see nothing in your post establishing him as the legal father.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    Aug 4, 2013, 04:45 PM
    If he has a problem with it then HE needs to tell her ''see you in court''. Have it documented everything that she does with the son that concerns you *& husband. If the sons behavior is worse after having been with her and how. If the court sees it a concern they can grant her supervised visits. If they don't see her as a problem then it is possible that she could get weekends and some holidays, If she is refused visits she could easily apply for full custody with husbands rights to visitations and seek child support as well.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #10

    Aug 4, 2013, 05:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by worriedstepmom View Post
    He is the legal father. That is what i meant by him getting the paternity test done to prove he was the father.
    Getting a paternity test doesn't make one the legal father. The test has be ordered (or accepted) by a court AND a court has to award paternity.

    No one has been giving you "personal opinions on my situation", the answers have cited the law. And the law is that you have no legal standing. The law is also that, absent any court orders for custody and visitation, both legal parents have equal rights.

    So if you are both concerned about leaving the child with the mother, then he goes to court to establish custody and visitation.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
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    #11

    Aug 4, 2013, 05:04 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    Oh, not to mention, the son could grow up hating your interference, because it has been proven that many kids have a bond with their parents even in the worse case scenerio's
    I think this was the opinion. I wasn't sure where the dad stood on all this

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