[evefarfan]

I (female 21) had sex with my good friend (male 29) a few months ago (bad sex), we were both recently single and he was depressed because he found out he might have cancer (he doesnt)... we didn't really talk about it and our relationship didn't change.
This past weekend we went to each others church (he's catholic, I'm christian), after church we got lunch then decided to watch a movie at my place... which lend to cuddling... and yeah. Sex was better but still among the worse sex I've had, but I really don't mind, I've always loved him as a friend but I think I might be falling for him... but he's treating me the same way he's always treated me... I see him every Friday to go dancing, so should I tell him what I feel? What do I do? I want to see if we have something more then friendship and sex... please help!

[Wondergirl]

No, don't tell him anything, and stop having bad sex with him. Keep him in the friend zone.

By the way, Catholics were the first Christians (and still are Christian).

[Oliver2011]

It is interesting to me that you say the bad sex doesn't matter to you but you mentioned it twice. Bad sex sucks, so to speak.

And sex after church? I hope you both went to his Catholic Confession!

[kctiger]

How long have you two been friends? Seems like a fairly wide gap in maturity between 29 and 21. You say you've always loved him as a friend, which makes me think you two have been friends for years. I don't understand; you had horrific sex twice and now you think you are falling for him? So the bad sex is making you fall for him, or the fact that he is a friend and is willing to have sex with you is doing it? From a guy's perspective, if we can get the sex without the other responsibility that comes along with a true relationship, we will keep doing it... so my advice is to quit having sex with him. I also seriously doubt he shares the same feelings for you as you do for him. Not trying to be cold hearted either, I am just thinking with the perspective of a guy his age. You may be a bit vulnerable to an older adult, and good friend, who shares the recently single blues with you.

[joypulv]

It boggles my mind how many good friends have sex and then one of them goes online to ask 'how can I say my feelings?' What DO you two talk about, if you are such good friends? How hard is it to say some variation on 'Let's not have sex again until we talk about it, because I think it might mean more to me than I was expecting.' How do you know he isn't thinking along the same lines?
As for lousy sex, let's leave that out. Or maybe I should ask you, why did you bring it up, if you have these feelings for him? The love of my life started with some pretty lousy sex. Meant NOTHING and didn't stay that way.

[evefarfan]

We've been friends for 4 years but god friends for about 2 years. And it was bad because he didn't last very long, with a little practice I'm sure he'll last longer

[N0help4u]

You mention he is catholic and you are Christian is that because if how the Catholics prefer that catholics get involved with catholics and you see that might be a potential problem? Maybe the bad sex is a warning. Maybe if you tell him you are falling for him it could improve. Friends with benefits is not the way to go and as joy said it boggles my mind how you just have sex and don't know where you stand with each other in that department

[Fr_Chuck]

I will go another way, do you have some agreement, about friends with benefits, it is common and friends often have sex for the enjoyment of sex . Next why is it bad sex ?

But this is also how dating happens, it sounds like you DATE every week and go out, so having sex is just part of that relationsihp.

But why not talk to him about what you want.