[Trishy1989]

This is going to be long one, but I need some help...

About 2 and a half years ago, I met a guy, at first the relationship was all roses (as it always is), about 4 months in he called me to his house, and asked that we take a break as he wanted to think about things (he's looking to be a musician) so he wanted to spend his time doing music stuff. I told him I did not do breaks, we are together, or we simply break up. He told me that he had fallen in love with me, and didn't want to break up, I being naïve as can be then agreed upon 3 days for him to think, and after that I would call it quits. I later found out that he was cheating on me. I decided that I would be stupid and take him back. Since then I have been having a lot of trust issues. Back in February he broke up with me, as he had felt he had done everything in his power to prove to me that he wasn't cheating on me, but I continuously thought the worst. I ended up going to therapy as I was pretty much at the end of my rope. We then decided to get back together a month after. Things have been pretty good, I have backed off him quite a bit. Recently I had my wisdom teeth out and my best friend had texted his phone to find out how I was feeling, as I was really out of it (my Besty is gay), I saw the message and thought I would respond to him, to save him from worrying. But as I was opening the messages, I found a message from his long time friend, that said "hahahaha don't you dare buddy" and that was all, the other messages had been deleted. I calmly asked what they were talking about, and why he needed to delete them. He told me that they were talking about me and getting my teeth pulled, and she liked this guy from buffalo. A couple days later we kind of had a blow up, and I asked that he stop hiding things from me, and he asked that I stop making things up about what he's thinking, doing etc. we had agreed and I guess at one point I had done it after promising I wouldn't do it, and he broke up with me again. I don't think he is doing anything wrong, but now I just want to get him back, so that we can work on it. I told him this, and he said he was scared to get back into if because I said this the last time we broke up... I feel like he can't just run when there is a problem and then expect to come back and think everything will be good again, I feel like we need to work together in order to make the relationship good! How do you bring this up to a person, when they are just fed up with you... and don't believe the things your saying because you have said them before... he says he still cares and everything but it's not the best thing for us right now... and I have different thoughts... I need help!!

[Fr_Chuck]

Why do you want him back ?

Actual reasons?

Often we break for a reason, and that is, something is not working.

I would say a break, both go to couples counseling and see if it is worth saving

[joypulv]

You lost trust and couldn't let it go, plus you kept snooping (despite claiming it was innocent), he is fed up with trying to prove he's trustworthy, whether he is or not we don't know - there's nothing to salvage out of this relationship.
You seem to think you can 'make' him see things your way. You can't.