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April5 · Jul 28, 2013, 11:00 PM

Oh my holy cheese. First date. Ever. Can I possibly express the magnitude of this issue? WHAT DO I WEAR?? Hell, what do I DO?

Okay, we're going to the movies, so it's casual. My parents have no idea, so nothing that will make them suspect anything. The guy's been my best friend for a long time, so I don't necessarily need to impress. It's going to be some time in August (we're watching the second Percy Jackson movie- we're both fans), and I'm 13.

I have dirty blonde hair, grey-blue eyes, and pale skin, which I don't feel comfortable showing too much of. Suggestions for outfit options, makeup, and preparation are very greatly appreciated. This is urgent, guys!

ScottGem · Jul 29, 2013, 03:08 AM

My parents have no idea, so nothing that will make them suspect anything.

Sorry, but this is very wrong. You do NOT go sneaking behind your parent's back. If they know this boy, then why should they object. If you go and they find out later, they will have lost faith and trust in you.

The only thing I will advise you on what to wear, is nothing tight or revealing.

JudyKayTee · Jul 29, 2013, 06:10 AM

I don't think any responsible adult here is going to help you deceive your parents.

I'm surprised you would even ask.

My opinion of you just plummeted.

joypulv · Jul 29, 2013, 06:14 AM

MAKEUP? To go on a casual first date at 13, without your parents suspecting anything?
You've go to be kidding in all 4 respects
Casual
First date
13
Parents not suspicious
I know teens agonize about everything and anything because I was a teen once, but really.

JudyKayTee · Jul 29, 2013, 06:23 AM

"Hell, what do I DO?"

On reread, what do you do about what?

N0help4u · Jul 29, 2013, 06:39 AM

What do you do? Is this an afternoon thing or are you out and out lying about where you are going at night?

Homegirl 50 · Jul 29, 2013, 08:31 AM

what do I DO?

Keep your sneaky behind at home.

April5 · Jul 29, 2013, 10:03 AM

Look, if I told my parents, they'd be okay with it, but they'd want to chaperon me, and get all my friends' parent's opinions, and then the rumor mill would go out of control, and I'd never get another second's peace. I'm just going to ask them to take me to the mall in the afternoon so I can see a movie. Call it a lie of omission. All I'm asking for is advice.

JudyKayTee · Jul 29, 2013, 10:21 AM

No one is going to help you lie to your parents - you can call it anything you want.

When they say, "Where are you going?" you are going to... omit where you are going?

What aren't you understanding?

N0help4u · Jul 29, 2013, 10:47 AM

SO someone you know sees you in the mall or the movie and starts a "rumor mill" that gets back to unsuspecting oarents

JudyKayTee · Jul 29, 2013, 10:50 AM

Even if no one sees her she has to look at her face in the mirror every day, look into her parents' eyes and know she's deceiving them.

Isn't this how girls get pregnant? Starts with one lie and another builds on top of that and then another.

I suspect parents think she's too young to date. I think I know why. "My parents don't trust me" is posted all the time. Usually they have a good reason.

If these parents didn't, they do now.

ScottGem · Jul 29, 2013, 11:08 AM

Originally Posted by April5

Look, if I told my parents, they'd be okay with it, but they'd want to chaperon me, and get all my friends' parent's opinions, and then the rumor mill would go out of control, and I'd never get another second's peace. I'm just going to ask them to take me to the mall in the afternoon so I can see a movie. Call it a lie of omission. All I'm asking for is advice.

Its still a lie and you are still going behind your parent's backs. And that is just wrong and we aren't going to assist you.

So if you think your parents will be OK with it, then talk to them. If this guy is your best friend, they will know him and his parents. So you talk to them and tell them that you don't want them to make a big deal of this, but John wants to take me to a movie. Is it OK with you, please, please, please.

Your parents may be sensitive to your concern about the "rumor mill". And the fact that you are being up front with them and asking permission will probably go a long way. But it will go a much longer way in the opposite direction if you try to hide the truth from them.

And if you don't think that someone you know won't see you together in a movie and that it won't get back to them, you are fooling yourself.

Wondergirl · Jul 29, 2013, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by April5

Look, if I told my parents, they'd be okay with it, but they'd want to chaperon me

If you were my daughter, I'd want to chaperone you too. What else do you do behind their backs?

joypulv · Jul 29, 2013, 11:18 AM

About 55 years ago I snuck out to an Saturday afternoon movie (10 cents). NO WAY were my parents going to find out. There was some sort of raffle and I was chosen to draw the ticket out of a barrel. Guess what? My picture ended up on the front page of the local newspaper.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 29, 2013, 11:30 AM

I'd want to chaperone you too if you were my daughter. Stop trying to justify your sneaking and lying. Ask your parents permission and deal with their ground rules or keep your butt at home.

JudyKayTee · Jul 29, 2013, 12:17 PM

I always wonder about the "boy/man" in the situation - boys who don't care if girls lie to their parents; men/boys who care too little about their partners to protect them.

Wondergirl · Jul 29, 2013, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I always wonder about the "boy/man" in the situation - boys who don't care if girls lie to their parents; men/boys who care too little about their partners to protect them.

She's probably lying to him too.

ScottGem · Jul 29, 2013, 12:27 PM

We don't know if the boy knows she is not talking to her parents. But if she lies to them it's a good bet she isn't being totally honest with him.