[jaydid1]

In 1996 I meet a woman, who disappeared only to come back and state 4 months later that she was pregnant. Like anyone might do my initial response was let’s get a paternity test. She stated that it wasn't necessary because I wouldn’t be a part of the child’s life and that she was more than likely going to give the child up for adoption. It turns out she just wanted to tell me because her parents told her to.

At the time I took her to court to establish paternity never questioning paternity because I could not fathom why someone would allow themselves to be sued for paternity when they could easily just say he is not the biological father. The case was never completed because the child was born and we ended up getting back together. (Note: Her reply to my suit was she was going to give me full custody she just wanted to name the child and then leave the state). I was there for her birth and signed the birth certificate.
We were together off and on for 4 years when she dropped the bomb on me during a fight. She said that I wasn’t our daughters biological father, she tried saying that she had told me during our years together but I wouldn’t have forgotten something like that. Mind you this is now Feb 2002 and our daughter was 4 going on 5. I paid 650.00 for a paternity test the results were that I’m not her biological daughter.

I had a hard time coping with things and eventually lost my job. My mom pushed me to come stay with my brother in Oregon. I paid her support until I lost my job even knowing that the child wasn’t mine. I decided that I didn’t want to leave Oregon but would do the right thing for our daughter. On my daughter’s 5 birthday. I explained to my ex what my plans where, but she was already upset and responded with the following: “ I do not want you to contact us again. I will be moving away and getting married. My fiancée is in the service and we will be getting married soon. Do not call or try and contact us again.” I checked with some attorneys my initial cash was squashed by the courts because we never finalized things after our daughter was born. And I basically had no rights if I were to try and fight it because I wasn’t her biological father.
11 years go by without word. Then 3 days ago I was served an Order to appear in an Arizona court. Apparently the Department of economic security ex rel. (My Ex). Is petitioning the courts to establish child support. Post paternity.

I don’t have money to get an attorney right now and I’m already paying child support here in Oregon for a little that is mine. Some people have told me that this is hunting expedition for money. I have to go to Phoenix which is going to be expensive enough as it is. The saddest part is that I was waiting for my daughter to turn 18 so I could establish a relationship with her, but it looks like for her birthday the first thing she would have heard from me in 11 years is that she is not my daughter. Court in on Sept 18 and her 18th birthday is on the Sept. 19. Any advice or recommendations would help.

[JudyKayTee]

You've been served - you have no choice but to comply. The bad decisions you made in the past have little to do with this now. You knew the mother was trouble, you knew she was saying both you were and weren't the father, and it appears you let the situation slide. Unfortunate but of little value now.

What do you do? You appear in Court. The child cannot be adopted with proof of paternity and consent of the father. Is that the purpose? I don't see this situation at the child's age.

Support of the second child is pretty much immaterial - if you have two children you need to support them both. I am assuming the one you do support is younger than the child "we" are discussing? In NY - at least - that first child comes first, and the Court takes the attitude that you shouldn't have a second child when you aren't supporting the first.

I'm not being harsh with you - I'm telling you how the law can work. What has happened is water under the bridge.

I don't think it's a witch hunt if the money goes to support the child. It's called "getting financial assistance in raising the child."
Why it's taken this long, I don't know, unless it's about college expenses.

The only person who knows what the mother is thinking is, presumably, the mother. So you go to Court and see what is going on.

Have you ever attempted to get a legal order for visitiation/custody?

[ScottGem]

First, you may not need to appear in person. Contact the court and see if you can appear by telephone. Mention to the court that you were told and confirmed by DNA testing that you are not the father. If you have the test results, forward them to the court.

Make sure you keep in touch with the court and are aware of any hearing so you can be there by phone.

[jaydid1]

No, The mother told me I couldn't see her. Lawyers told me I had no rights. I let it go. My life was ruined by it but I let it go. She said I was the Father and I believed up till the time that she told me I was not.

[JudyKayTee]

Without DNA you had no enforceable rights. With DNA you might have.

Bad legal advice.