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    NerdyShay9912's Avatar
    NerdyShay9912 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 16, 2013, 12:56 PM
    Should I say something to my parents?
    Okay so about 4 years ago my parents separated (personal reasons) and 2years later they got divorced, well something like that. Then last year they just randomly said they were seeing each other. This was like 2+ weeks after my father broke up with his girlfriend and 4+ months they got married. Me and my siblings had no say in this marriage what so ever.

    Now they're together but they argue non-stop over the smallest things ever. My siblings and I still do not agree with the marriage, and when my father and his girlfriend were still together, on christmas she gave him an item that he still keeps with him today wherever he goes,

    I'm not sure what to do cause I can't just let it go, and my father has told me that sometimes he just wants to leave and never come back. So I'm not sure why they got married in the first place if their not happy.

    So should I say something?
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 16, 2013, 01:05 PM
    You can ask your dad what does he want and be supportive and encouraging. Do not talk about how you think he is not in a good marriage bad mouthing but only encourage and support what he says.
    NerdyShay9912's Avatar
    NerdyShay9912 Posts: 19, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Jul 16, 2013, 01:08 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by N0help4u View Post
    You can ask your dad what does he want and be supportive and encouraging. Do not talk about how you think he is not in a good marriage bad mouthing but only encourage and support what he says.
    Ok thanks, I'll try that (:
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jul 16, 2013, 01:16 PM
    You know as kids we didn't get the opportunity to pick who are parents would be and sometimes we have to accept what they do. Parents, like kids, are not perfect. Parents can make mistakes and that is okay. But even when they make mistakes and they separate it doesn't stop them from loving their children.

    Having said all that if you have a good and open dialogue with both of them then there's no problem with you talking to them. But remember, their answers may not be what you want to hear and you don't get a vote on that.

    I wish you the best.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 16, 2013, 01:17 PM
    Nerdy, this is not meant to be harsh, but you are 14 years old. You should not be involved in your parents' relationship. Neither of them should allow you to be involved. Your father is extremely wrong for saying what he has to you. Next time he says something, say, "Dad, I am your child not a marriage counselor. Please leave me out of it."

    You can sit both of them down and let them know how the fighting is affecting you and your siblings. Once you have told them how you are being affected, stay out of their adult business.

    I know you care about them, but they are not your responsibility. It is the other way around. You have enough on your plate with being a teen. Don't try to be an adult, too.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Jul 16, 2013, 01:30 PM
    Stay out of adult business parents or not. Love them for the flawed human they are like you want them to love you.

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