[Jadd]

He is not on my son's birth certificate but we had a DNA test so child support ordered him to pay 50 dollars a month even though I begged them to just let him sign over any rights he may have but they wouldn't let him... my son is now 9 and has no idea that the man I have been with since my son was a year old isn't his real dad.. my sperm donor hasn't paid any of the support he was ordered too and has been in and out of prison for the last five years well he just recently got released from prison for kidnapping and drugs and who knows what else.. now he has moved back to Ohio where I live and has been threatening to take me to court... please what can I do... my fiancé would adopt him in a heart beat cause he is the only dad my son knows.. but we don't know where to start and can't afford a lawyer... please someone tell me what to do

[Jadd]

I apologize for calling him a sperm donor it just makes me so mad that after 8 years he thinks he is going to be father of the year

[ScottGem]

Ok, you beat me to it on criticizing you for the term sperm donor. But along with that the question has to be asked was he a criminal when you decided to have sex with him?

Obviously, you have had no contact with him for the last several years. You have no idea whether he is rehabilitated and just wants to be a part of his son's life. Its possible he could, at this time be a good father but I doubt if he thinks he can be father of the year. Your penchant for sarcasm will not be admired by the courts.

As you found out years ago, a parent can't just sign over rights. And courts are very reluctant to terminate rights. However, since there is someone willing to adopt, then that becomes a possibility.

But you cannot afford not to have an attorney. Where to start is shopping around for an attorney who can explain what you need to do to file for adoption. You may have to wait until you have been married for at least a year. You should have time to save up for the legal costs.

One final point, at 9 your son is old enough to understand and be told about his true parentage. You should sit down with immediately and tell him the truth.

[Jadd]

He says he don't want my son he justs wants to find away to not have to pay child support.. I feel terrible cause we were not in a relationship we had sex one time and I got pregnant... I don't regret it cause I was blessed with a beautiful healthy son... the man I'm with now has raised my son since before he was a year old we are not married but have lived together for the last 8 years... I just don't want my son to suffer from my mistake. I think the only reason his biological father is trying to contact me now is he don't want to pay his support which is fine with me I have never asked for anything from him but I recently got contacted by another woman who has a child by him also and he is threatening her and she said all together he has 7 children with other women but is not bothering them cause there is no child support ordered for them

[ScottGem]

He says he don't want my son he justs wants to find away to not have to pay child support..

Great. That works to your advantage. Means he should agree to the adoption once you are eligible.