[Lifeisknocking]

About 5 days ago, my girlfriend sent me a text saying that she wanted a break for a few days. This was completely a shock to me, because I felt like we were doing really well. This had happened once before, but it didn't even last a day. She said that she needed space, but didn't give me any reasons or answers for why she was asking for a break. I continued to text her, to no avail though because she wasn't answering my texts. Finally About 2 days later, I was able to talk to her for about an hour through text. She wasn't using her phone though, she was using a completely different number and said that she had "lost" her phone. This alone is very odd because she is not a careless person, and had always taken good care of her phone. On top of that, whenever I tried to call her or get her to call me, she wouldn't pick up and would come up with so many different excuses for why she couldn't.

I then asked her if she really wanted me to leave her alone, and that if she did, just say so and I would, but that she should be absolutely sure before she made a decision. She responded with "I don't know why I want, give me time." That was the last thing I heard from her for a couple days. Tomorrow, the 23rd of June, is my birthday. My girlfriend and I never miss each others birthday's, from even before we started dating. (We have known each other for pretty much our entire lives). We have always tried to be the first person to say happy birthday to each other, and soon as the clock strikes midnight. I really love her, and I believe that she loves me too. I know we both care about each other. And I get that she might have some things she needs to work out alone, and she needs her space for that.

For the past couple days I have tried really hard to leave her alone, and give her space. Sometimes it felt impossible, because I miss her so much. But somehow I did. We technically have a long distance relationship, but we still see each other about once a week or even more if we can get lucky. We had a plan to see each other on my birthday, and spend the whole day together. But now I'm not even sure if she'll even tell me happy birthday. I don't know what I should do if she doesn't even talk to me on my birthday. Just let it go? Just act like its not a big deal to me? Because it is a big deal. And up until now, I could somewhat understand that she needed space, and I did my best to give it to her.

But my birthday is my day, and I just feel like the person you have been in love with for years, and told that they were the most important person to you, shouldn't be treated like that. Being ignored, is a really bad feeling. But on my birthday, I just don't know how I should handle this.

Sorry about the really long post. I just had a lot to get off my chest. Thanks

[Homegirl 50]

Texting you telling you she wants a break is tacky. A break is a break. If she would text you for that I doubt she would wish you a happy birthday. Since she has done this twice now, she would not have the opportunity to do it again. She may be seeing someone. I know this hurts but I would not contact her at all and I would not take her back if she came back.

[Lifeisknocking]

Texting you telling you she wants a break is tacky. A break is a break. If she would text you for that I doubt she would wish you a happy birthday. Since she has done this twice now, she would not have the opportunity to do it again. She may be seeing someone. I know this hurts but I would not contact her at all and I would not take her back if she came back.

Thank you for your answer. It does hurt a lot, and maybe you are right. My girlfriend has not exactly had an easy past when it comes to dating. Like I said, we have known each other for pretty much our whole lives. But for a while, we drifted away and did not talk for a few years. During that time, something happened sexually to her. I have only been able to get bits a pieces of it, but apparently someone had sexually abused her. Since then anything with dating and sex has been hard for her. For two years, we have worked together to try to get her past what happened. This is somewhat unrelated to my post, but my point is, she may have this impulses and sudden actions that she may not even know why she is doing them. She may get suddenly depressed, and not even know why. I don't think she is seeing someone else. I really do believe that we are truly in love. And she truly cares about me, too. Just like I care about her. We are not only boyfriend and girlfriend, we are also best friends. In fact, I may have even answered my own question while typing this response. Thanks for your help. I guess I will know for sure when the clock hits midnight.

[BARBARAKT]

I agree with home girl. Surround yourself with family and friends that are for you. Maybe you were to controlling and too needy and calling too much. Absence does make the heart grow founder. Sounds like she had never had the opportunity to explore the dating seen and find what kind of person she likes. She needs that chance to grow and understand herself. Give her lots of space, listen too her when she wants or needs you. It is not about you its about her. Maybe you should check out all the fish in the sea. You can find more than (1) person in the world to love. Check it out and you will find you have limited your experience with relationships... there is always something you learn about yourself in every relationships. Only keep people in your live that are a positive influence and keep them on your board of directors. You are the CEO of your life, take control.

[Jake2008]

Because she needs a break, then she doesn't need a break, then she's not sure if she needs a break- I think you should decide whether to keep being available, and willing to jump if she says jump.

Special occasions are particularly hard, but it doesn't change the circumstances as to the nature of your relationship with her.

She is unwilling to talk (unless it suits her), she's unwilling to offer some solutions, or something to work towards together (knowing you are 100% willing is my guess), and suspicious behavior on her part at the same time this is all going on (ie the phone), leads me to believe that perhaps there is another man in her life.

If there is, perhaps she's playing games with him as well. Seeing if she wants him, but at the same time keeping you in her back pocket.

This is more now, in my opinion, about what you need to do. I do not recommend putting blinders on and the next time she comes around, ignoring all that has happened. Draw a line in the sand, and decide when enough is enough.

Maybe it is time to think about putting an end to this.

[Homegirl 50]

I don't understand her wanting a break with no explanation. That is just selfish. You need to decide if you want to keep playing her back and forth game. She may have been through something but that is no excuse for rudeness and selfishness with someone you supposedly love.