[staysea]

Okay, so I am caucasian (french, irish, scottish) and my boyfriend is East Indian (Hindu) and we are dating. He does not have an accent, he is very Canadian as he's lived here all his life. We love each other and we live together as well. He's become good friends with my four brothers and my mom, but his parents disagree with our relationship. They don't want for us to be together and they tell him he has to have an arranged marriage.

My heart is broken. I've never met his parents or anything and they dislike me for my colour. Any advice from an Indian and arranged marriages? Or what I should do about this.

Thanks, :)

[Homegirl 50]

Well you two are already living together. He either stands up to his parents or he gives in. It is his choice.

[ScottGem]

Actually, I don't think his parents dislike you for your color or anything else about you except for the fact that you are not who they chose.

I think this is a cultural thing rather than a racial thing. I think their culture is that marriages are arranged by the parents and they expect their son follow their tradition.

So your boyfriend needs to man up and decide whether you are more important to him than his parent's cultural traditions.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes arranged marriages are very common in that culture and others.

They do not care or consider love, It is based on many factors.

So it is now up to boyfriend, he either tells me no, he is going to marry you, and you to go heaad and marry.

[joypulv]

Just want to mention (gently) that you have been giving advice to people who asked their questions years ago, including one about interracial dating from just about exactly 6 years ago. Try to stay current by using the Answer bar - Find Today's Questions.

[staysea]

Just want to mention (gently) that you have been giving advice to people who asked their questions years ago, including one about interracial dating from just about exactly 6 years ago. Try to stay current by using the Answer bar - Find Today's Questions.

I actually just created my account 2 weeks ago, I know people have asked similar questions as me, but I never had an account before.

Yes arranged marriages are very common in that culture and others.

They do not care or consider love, It is based on many factors.

So it is now up to boyfriend, he either tells me no, he is going to marry you, and you to go heaad and marry.

Thank you so much for the advice :) It made me feel better!

[teacherjenn4]

I actually just created my account 2 weeks ago, I know people have asked similar questions as me, but I never had an account before.

I think you are misunderstanding: you are posting answers to questions people asked years ago. Make sure you look at the dates the original posts were written.

[staysea]

Now I feel stupid, thanks!

[teacherjenn4]

Now I feel stupid, thanks!

It's all a learning process here. :)

[JudyKayTee]

It sounds like more than a culture clash - https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-744612.html.

I know a little bit about his culture, and this would make his parents' hair stand on end!

Maybe he's tired of being tested, put in a position where he can only lose.

[Homegirl 50]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relatio...nd-744612.html.

That situation is totally messed up. Did you get over that? Maybe he didn't.
You're living together already. If he loved, trusted and wanted to marry you, he would.

[Jake2008]

You are in a tough spot. He may be Canadian born, but his family roots are deeply steeped in Indian tradition, and their expectations of who he should marry, will likely in the end outweigh the relationship you have with him.

And I agree, it isn't about your genetic background, it is about the culture itself, which by the way, has gone on for hundreds of years. That is a tough expectation for your boyfriend to break. Even if he were in love with an Indian woman, there would be the question of 'love' marriage, vs. arranged marriage, with all questions of 'caste' involved, along with parental interviews, etc. etc.

And from my knowledge of such things, it won't end at the marriage. Traditional Indian families are very involved in child rearing, and many married women have posted here about their mothers in law having more say and control than they like.

They are already snubbing you, and your family, from what you've said. Think twice about the cultural considerations involved here, and do your research on arranged marriages, which in itself, will explain how entrenched these ancient traditions are.