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toughtom · Jun 2, 2013, 07:15 PM

Hey guys,

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years now. Easily the best four years of my life and I am 99% sure I truly love her. I can't stand a day where I don't see her.

However, the last couple months haven't been as exciting (we are both in college together) because we have been so busy and stressed from school. Recently, she said she wants to stop seeing each other because she believes that she loves me but she still wonders. She said that she needs to some time away from me just to make sure that I am the right one for her. This definitely took me by surprise because I am so positive that she was made perfectly for me (we were born 2 hours apart, God knew what he was doing haha). Our relationship was great, we treated each other very well. I'm going to be very supportive of her, it's her decision and since I love her I just want whatever makes her happiest, even if it isn't me.

Now comes my questions. How do I deal with this? I miss her like crazy and can't stand not being with her. Also, if she dates someone, it's going to hurt so bad that I'd rather get stabbed in the gut and have someone twirl the knife. I can't stand the thought of someone touching her. I know that we are right for each other and that God will do what's right in the end. How do you guys think I should go about this though? How should I treat her? Act around her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I forgot to mention that we are definitely each others best friend and the person that the other would go to for comfort.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 2, 2013, 08:06 PM

You need break all contact with her. If she is on Facebook defriend her. Don't email or text. Get busy doing things you like, Stay busy. In time you will get through this.

JudyKayTee · Jun 3, 2013, 05:45 AM

I learned a long time ago to believe what people tell me - if she says she needs/wants a break, that's what she needs/wants. If you want any chance of saving this relationship you need to respect her wishes, as difficult as that may be.

Sports, hobbies, other friends, whatever it takes to keep you busy. And, yes, it will hurt like heck if she dates other people - possibly hurt worse than heck. Unfortunately I think most of us have been "there" at one time or another. I remember reeling with pain.

I also wouldn't keep involving God in this relationship - it's either going to be or not. If I were your girlfriend I wouldn't want to hear what God wants (or doesn't want) concerning this relationship.

talaniman · Jun 3, 2013, 06:03 AM

Break ups suck, mainly because we are caught off guard and really don't want it to end. But once the shock wears off the challenge of rebuilding a life that you enjoy without her and exploring or experimenting your world will be new and exciting if you are creative, and proactive. See it as a challenge and accept and embrace the challenge.

As far as seeing her goes, the biggest change will be unavailable but polite, as you did spend and share time and each other, but your healing requires a good emotional distance so forget the comforting friend torture. You just aren't ready for that. Be a long while before you are.

But it's a opportunity to reach out for other friends and opportunities as a single guy to enjoy. Takes time, with many fits and starts, but eventually you recover and things get better. Just don't rush into another relationship. And don't hang on to this one.

toughtom · Jun 6, 2013, 05:58 AM

Well we are both quite religious and she kept saying that God will keep us together if it is meant to be, that's kind of why I keep saying it. But I know I love her, I am absolutely crazy about her. She is definitely the one for me. And I'm almost positive that we will eventually get back together, but I don't know how long it will be. What we had was way too special for it to be just over like that. She wants to keep talking and occasionally seeing each other, but how should I act? I don't want to be rude and play "hard to get" or even seem as if I moved on. But then again, I don't want her to think that I'm some loser just waiting here to see if she comes back. Thanks again guys.

Homegirl 50 · Jun 6, 2013, 06:28 AM

If she says she wants a beak, she does not have the right to talk to you or see you on her terms. That is selfish and keeping you on a leash. Give her the break and get busy with your life. If you keep allowing her to soothe her guilt by talking to you every once in a while and you lapping it up, you do seem like a looser.

JudyKayTee · Jun 6, 2013, 08:24 AM

Ask her if God has shared a time frame with her as well as what you should do in the meantime.

Handyman2007 · Jun 8, 2013, 06:13 AM

People do grow apart. If you are both college students, you are both at the age where you should be learning about new people and life in general. Of course you care for her and she probably cares for you in many ways too that you don't understand but if we are not true to our own feelings, we cannot be true to the ones we love. I wish I could go back to my college days and make a few different decisions. My high school sweetheart got married right after we graduated college and it was a terrible marriage because neither one of us knew mush about ourselves OR each other. Move on. There is a great big world out there to explore...