[Helpfulhelen]

I've been with my partner for only 18 months and already feels like he is going off sex, I've been very open and honest with him on how I feel about this and it turned into a huge row, we've spoken about it again recently and was much calmer, he explained its stress at work and the fact he has just moved home, the thing that concerns me is the fact he is only 28 and I'm only 23 (surely we should have a very healthy sex life?) I've tried to explain how it's made me feel , it's knocking my confidence and making me feel very unattractive but he just says he loves me and does find me attractive and I'm being silly , he has made me feel like a sexual predator which isn't a nice feeling especially when he isn't wanting to engage in that, I've tried getting advice from girlfriends but they took it as a joke and one even commented that something must be wrong if the only thing in our relationship going wrong is the fact my fella doesn't want sex from me and it's a blessing in disguise , I'm so confused , am I too naïve to understand? Am I not normal to want sex more than once a week , I still feel like I'm in the honeymoon period and do have a high sex drive which I had always presumed was a good thing but now I'm questioning this , my girlfriends think its strange I have such a high sex drive and enjoy sex as much as I do , am I not normal and is my boyfriends expectations of once a week sex normal?
Ok now I, rambling , sorry, any advice would be great x

[Cat1864]

I am going to be honest and I don't think you are going to like it.

What I see is a young female who is caught up in love and attraction equal sex. If she isn't getting sex then she isn't loved and doesn't feel attractive. She is so caught up in this concept that she isn't listening to her partner and his needs.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with you or that you are a sexual predator. I am saying that your expectations are little unreasonable for what he can give.

He has said he is stressed. Stress is a huge libido limiter and you are adding another factor-pressure. Pressure to have sex when a person isn't in the mood can become a libido killer.

Something to think about is that almost every long term relationship will have period when sex slows down or is non-existent. Couples have to be willing to adapt and work on other areas of the relationship.

If you cannot accept his needs are limiting his ability to have sex and intercourse means more to you than just spending time together, maybe this relationship isn't the right one for you.

If you are willing to be understanding and stop pressuring him for sex, then I have some advice for you. No on can make you feel something you don't. You have to believe you are attractive and beautiful or you will always have a feeling of insecurity. All he can do is enhance what you already feel.

Be secure in who you are and how you feel about yourself. Self-confidence is one of the sexiest things a woman can possess.