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thomaslamf · May 18, 2013, 11:56 PM

Hi,

I'm Looking for some advice I've been in a relationship for along time and don't feel the same way as I use to...
I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and we have been together since high school, I'm now 23 and she is 20, we have done a lot together and have lived together for 3 years... In the past 3 months or so I can't help to think I'm not as happy as I use to be I do enjoy her company but it doesn't feel the same... I can't stop thinking about you only live once and your only young once and I want to get out there and be free with no worries or problems for a wail I'm not ready to "Settle Down" and she seems to always talk about the future marriage, kids etc.. But I don't think I want any of that at this stage of my life, And in the past 6 month I've been out in town with some mates and hooked up with some girls just made out... I did tell her about it because stuff like that always comes up I'm just worried I'm going to start going out and sleeping with girls behind her back, but Friday night I ended going out my good friends place his girlfriend was there and her best friend... we where all drunk and I shared a bed with her best friend and ended up sleeping with her.. she knew I had a girlfriend and so did I but it didn't seem to stop both of us no one knows about it and its going to stay that way but after 5 years its happen and I don't know what to do...

My Girlfriend and I together now which could be a problem with a break up, were suppose to moving back to my home town together at the end of the year.. From WA Australia to QLD Australia and she doesn't get along with her family so much is which could be another problem and she would be devastated if I break it off I think last time I suggested anything along the lines she was in bad form and kind of twisted my arm changing my mind... what if I do break it up what will I do or what will she do I think I'm considering too much and always talk myself out of it and talk myself into thinking I'm really happy with everything I'm not too sure?

Just Wondering if I could get some advise ?

Thanks

Tom

joypulv · May 19, 2013, 01:52 AM

Advice? Sure. You are telling us that you want to break up but don't want to hurt her because you truly care. You need to plan how to say that to her and mean it and stay resolved when she argues, pleads, complains, and sweet talks you into changing your mind. It's OK to not want to settle down when you are 23 and it's OK for her to want to settle down. You are not a horrible person. The fact that your cheating got to the actual sex stage is a sign that you need to follow through for both your sakes. A big move like you have planned would be a disaster.

Homegirl 50 · May 19, 2013, 08:26 AM

You need to break it off with her. At 23 it is not a bad thing to not want to settle down, to want to "be out there" you've been together since your teen years, you need to explore. You have already cheated once and that is not good. Do the right thing, be strong and don't let her talk you out of doing what is right. This is your life. Live it!

mariecarol108 · May 22, 2013, 02:58 PM

The fact that you have already cheated on her answers your question? If you really wanted to be with her, and if you really cared about her feelings you wouldn't have cheated. I think that you should break up with her, but do it in a gentle way and explain to her that you're just not ready to settle down and that you want to find yourself. It's the best thing for both of you in the long run!