[jimdawg]

Hey guys,

I know this is a constant topic on this website, but it would help to see what you guys think about my particular situation.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating 3 and a half years, we started when we were 15 and are now both about to turn 19. We did all the usual things people of that age did, go out have fun, go to parties, have sex and everything else in the norm. But around 5 months ago the sex became less and less, where it got to the point of once every 2 weeks whereas it used to be daily. Also she wanted to see me less and less and we would always have fights about stupid little things. She then admitted to me that she was sad about her life (Not me) so she went onto anti depressants but then after a month came off them. She said she doesn't want to take them, even though she was better on them. As in not grumpy all the time and just generally more happy.

Then about 2 months after that I asked for a break. I don't know why I did but I did. We didn't talk for a week and 6 days and in this break I realized I missed her too much and I loved her a lot. But when we met up for the first time she said she no longer had feelings for me and she wanted to break up. I argued with her and so we said we would try to work things out. Which is all I could ask for, I mean I didn't want to end a long relationship that quickly with no talking and no trying. I stayed over hers last night and we cuddled but that was about it.

What do I do? She said she is trying and its too early to tell but the fact she wants to try and says she wishes she still had proper feelings means something right? But I know she's still sad like before and I don't think its me alone making her sad.

What should I do AMHD?

[talaniman]

She said she is trying and its too early to tell but the fact she wants to try and says she wishes she still had proper feelings means something right?

Yes it means something but not what you want it to mean. It means she doesn't have those feeling for you that you want her to have. Maybe she does need her meds. Have you talked about that and found out why she went off them?

But I know she's still sad like before and I don't think its me alone making her sad.

I think you are right and its not about you, but about her, and you should not make it about you. She has to take some action for herself as what to do to address her issue. She is at a crossroads and has to determine her own path without your influence. Sorry guy that's what happens when young love reaches the point of a new life as an adult and we get faced with choice on how to move forward.

What should I do AMHD?

Give her time and space to work through her issues and stop expecting what you had before to come back. You are adults now, and unfortunately while you have feelings, you don't have the skills and experience to get in her head through communications especially as she doesn't want you to.

I am almost sure her issues deal with what she should be doing or other events in her life and you can never understand it if she doesn't tell you so maybe its best to go back on your break, or make this a good break up and explore the world apart because it doesn't seem it will happen together.

Sorry guy, but at least consider its time to take the memories and explore your own options without her.

[vandallen]

Stay away for a while and see what happens.