[MrPalmetto]

I am engaged to an amazing woman, and we plan to be married in the next two months.

A little background:

She is 50. She is a "big city" girl, having lived in Dallas, San Francisco, and Miami. She is a well-regarded professional, and very successful. She has no kids, and has never been married.

I am 45. I'm from a small, southern town. I am also a successful, international business-oriented professional. I have been married. I have no kids.

As I have grown to know her, I have found out things that bother me. She's been completely honest with me about her past, and she has been faithful to me since we met. Her past, however, includes being sexually active with "a lot" of people. She has been in many short-term relationships, which include same-sex relationships that lasted for years (living together as a couple), interracial relationships, and at least two relationships with married men. She never gave me a number, but I'd guess it's over 100 partners. (over the last 30 years)
Some of those old partners, she still has contact with.

Honestly, my sexual past has been somewhat varied too. I've been with around 50 women, of all shapes and colors. (but I have no contact with any of them now)

But I still have an issue dealing with all of it. I love her dearly, and we have a fantastic time together, whatever we're doing. How do I put her past in the past?

[talaniman]

How about being honest and telling her that her still being in contact with past lovers is an issue with you. I think the reminder of past lovers is a hurdle you have to clear to put this issue to bed and move forward.

I suspect that's what you want from her but are afraid to bring it up. Howlong have you known each other and been together as a couple?