[KevinHardly]

So today, I went to the city park to practice softball with my girlfriend. She plays for her church, and wants to improve.

I saw a girl (from my high school) that isn't particularly fond of me (due to a big misunderstanding earlier in the year) hanging out with some skaters (about 7 of them).

While my girlfriend is retrieving things for practice from her car (about 5 minutes later) I'm practicing some swings with the bat and softball (hitting them against the fence) so I can prepare myself to better assist my girlfriend in learning flyball and ground ball procedures, when I hear something about "swimming" or a "swimmer" From the skatepark (located just adjacent to the softball field) I swam this year in high school, and the only two people in the entire park that would know that were my girlfriend, and the girl that I had seen earlier that did not like me.

(It may seem untrue but bear with me here) I brushed it off thinking I was paranoid, and had just misheard what the skater had said, and subsequently ACCIDENTALLY hit my softball into the skatepark.

As I'm walking over there to retrieve the ball, and apologize for the danger I'd put them in, one skater throws the ball (deliberately) over a roof in a failed attempt to make me walk farther to get it. It bounced off the cage and landed approx. a foot from me, and he shouted "go get your sh**) not knowing it'd land so close to me.

I picked up the ball, retracted the though of apologizing instantly, and headed back to the softball field. We're all good. Just avoiding the punks.

10 minutes later (and I'd been hearing similar things at random times but now it was quite consistent) I hear a skater yell to me to hit the ball to him again, he wants to throw it. I shouted back (across the 60-80 foot gap) no thank you I'm busy.

He replied that he was waiting for me to hit the ball to him again, to which I replied, "then you'll be waiting for a while". All good suppressing the punks without being mean or harsh in anyway. Not even a sliver of a Snide tone, or sarcasm of any sort.

5 minutes go by, and 2 skaters are approaching the fence located just behind the batters plate, where I was practicing hitting balls to my girlfriend in the outfield. I'm not sure what they were saying as they approached but it was VERY provacative.

Soon after they failed to elicit a response from me with their unintelligent attempts, they climbed into the stand the score keepers sit in to better view the game (about 8 foot high just behind the plate (still outside of the field)). They began criticizing my every move, breath, step etc... In further attempts to elicit a response. I called them cute and agreed with everything they said to me.

This goes on for thirty minutes, and I'm sick of it. I've not shown one sign of anger towards them or any of my surroundings, but they'd definitely gotten me angry with awful words, and disrespectful attitudes.

I walked to the middle of the field where I explained to my girlfriend what was going on. She said stay level headed, don't fight them it's not worth it etc... She then walked with me to the dugout (located about 35 feet from the punks who remained in the stand) and grabbed a bottle of water. As she took a sip, the older skater called out "fetch me a drink service woman, and a fresh pair of clothes!" This one really did me in. I was 1000% sure I was going to strike a minor (I could tell he was 15-17 age range and I am just recently 18). To my own surprise, I kept cool. Didnt say anything back, just called the cops and explained what I've explained to you thus far.

The cops arrived 15 minutes later (we were receiving the same harassment the second we had gone back on the field till the moments the 2 cops arrived which just made it all the sweeter) and when they did, the two punks tried to retreat from their 8 foot tower of power, but the cops prevented them from doing so. He asked me the story, and when I explained it yet again in person, the punk replied "we just asked to play baseball with them and they said no", to which the cop replied "so they called the police because they declined your request to play baseball with them"

The idiot was baffled, and did not know what to say. We explained to the cop the majority of what the child had been saying (and though he may be months younger than me, I will use the right I now have to refer to him as a child because that's exactly what he is) and the cop told him to go skate, and if he came back, his friends came back, or anyone came pestering us again, they'd be punished.

Fast forward 5 hours. I'm absolutely furious in my house now. I'm furious the girl would give away details about my life to give these punks a reason to pester me (I'm speaking with her tomorrow at school), I'm furious they'd waste their time trying to get me to make a regrettable decision, but most of all, I'm absolutely enraged that simpletons such as this posses the power to take an hour of enjoyable time with my girlfriend from me, and occupy so much of my minds time that I'm writing all this on AMHD now.

What can I do to get these kids off my mind (one of them WAS TEN YEARS OLD by the way. He was the younger sibling of the main punk (and he was beyond embarrassed when the cop asked him his age), but still gave many of his own provocative words) if I was still 17 years old, I'd go to the park as often as I could to try and catch the punk alone, and get a chance to straighten him out with my hands, which his parents failed to do. Sadly, that's a caveman-like instinct, and is illegal for me now anyway.

I'm done stewing over this issue, any advice? I'm not sure what to do, when the best option seems so difficult. (Forget about it and a kid them, fore they are punks)

[joypulv]

Are you sure you are done stewing? Doesn't sound like it. Talk about it and get it out of your mind by getting on with your life.
This happens to all of us when young. We mature at different rates. No one was beaten up or even hit, and no property was damaged, and it sounds like it's only your manly pride and protective feelings for your girlfriend that were wounded. Her approach was to refuse to acknowledge them, a wise move. Give her some credit for being able to handle confrontation, rather than needing a knight in shining armor to save her.

It's just not a big deal. When you are a bit older it will all seem like nothing.

[joypulv]

I read through your previous post... sigh. I wonder how you function from day to day, with so much pent up anger about the past. You allude just once to your childhood. Being 18 changes you legally but we all take a lifetime to grow emotionally.

Perhaps you would like to talk about that childhood, because I do think you have some serious problems. You are obviously intelligent, and that can be dangerous when you sound so good at talking yourself out of angry confrontations, yet are sitting on a cauldron of seething anger.

[KevinHardly]

I read through your previous post... sigh. I wonder how you function from day to day, with so much pent up anger about the past. You allude just once to your childhood. Being 18 changes you legally but we all take a lifetime to grow emotionally.

Perhaps you would like to talk about that childhood, because I do think you have some serious problems. You are obviously intelligent, and that can be dangerous when you sound so good at talking yourself out of angry confrontations, yet are sitting on a cauldron of seething anger.

I'd be happy to talk about anything you think would help, but I've found out since my first post that a lot of it wasn't true, and the guy was much younger, and he wasn't the horrible person I though he was. So much has changed that my last story is basically fiction. Reading back through y post, it's easy to assume I go home everyday, and things such as this occupy my mind constantly, but it's not really that bad. I'm not psychotic or anything :p

[joypulv]

OK - sort of. This story about the park just seems so trivial to me, and your account was very long for such an encounter. Your girlfriend's story not being totally true is only partly meaningful, because while you thought it was true you seemed particularly unable or unwilling to see what a 13 year old naïve, impressionable girl CAN go through. (And we don't know if she might have made her loss of virginity sound more like rape than it was in reaction to something in your personality that can't handle any sexual past in a woman.)

What is behind your anger seems to have some unusual base, something I can't quite identify. On the face, you come off as an intelligent, mature adult, mixed with clueless kid - one who just sounds like he knows what the world is all about.

[KevinHardly]

OK - sort of. This story about the park just seems so trivial to me, and your account was very long for such an encounter. Your girlfriend's story not being totally true is only partly meaningful, because while you thought it was true you seemed particularly unable or unwilling to see what a 13 year old naive, impressionable girl CAN go through. (And we don't know if she might have made her loss of virginity sound more like rape than it was in reaction to something in your personality that can't handle any sexual past in a woman.)

What is behind your anger seems to have some unusual base, something I can't quite identify. On the face, you come off as an intelligent, mature adult, mixed with clueless kid - one who just sounds like he knows what the world is all about.

Well I can assure you I don't know very much about the world yet lol. Besides, I rarely think of her past anymore, and I'm very thankful for that. I'd enjoy talking some time though for sure. It was just a cave man day for me I suppose

[joypulv]

Neatly sidestepping your own past... your prerogative.

We are all still cavemen and women. Just the act of adjusting a tie (man) or necklace (woman) is based on the primal need to protect the throat from a wild animal, even if it's in conversation in which we feel like an argument is about to ensue.

[KevinHardly]

Neatly sidestepping your own past... your prerogative.

We are all still cavemen and women. Just the act of adjusting a tie (man) or necklace (woman) is based on the primal need to protect the throat from a wild animal, even if it's in conversation in which we feel like an argument is about to ensue.

Seeing as my past is one drunken night (huge mistake) with a friend, it's quite easily side stepable considering the past she has that isn't posted on this website.

[JudyKayTee]

"She" hasn't posted because "she" isn't the one with the problem.

You don't think this is a long "blog/post, full of details and anger, about nothing - ?

Everyone overreacts, says so, moves on. You aren't doing that. Why is this an issue for you?

You posted 18 times about your concerns about your girlfriend's sexual past (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lp-734764.html) and couldn't let the subject go.

Are you by nature anxious or insecure? Is something else at play here? (And, yes, 10 year old kids can drive a person nuts.)