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    Heathbaby4's Avatar
    Heathbaby4 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Apr 27, 2013, 02:09 PM
    Boyfriends going to a strip club for bachelor party tonight I can't relax!
    I just need people to talk to right now to keep my mind off it! We have been together for over a year. He haven't been out without me since we meet. Blah blah blah... Lol.. I told him not to get a lap dance. He thinks strip clubs are gross. I'm just going crazy! I don't want him to look! Please people cheer me up I can't stop crying he's leaving in 2 hrs! I feel like he hates me cause I'm like this.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Apr 27, 2013, 02:16 PM
    He's going out with his friends. He's not going to a strip club because that's his thing. It's a bachelor party, and that's one of the things guys do for a bachelor party.

    You're overreacting. Is he not allowed to go out and do things on his own? It sounds like you expect him to spend all his spare time with you. That's not healthy. In order for a relationship to work, you need to have alone time, time with friends, not every spare minute with each other.

    Bottom line, you either trust him or you don't. If you trust him, there's no reason for tears or anxiety. Doesn't sound like you trust him.

    Is that the case?
    Heathbaby4's Avatar
    Heathbaby4 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Apr 27, 2013, 02:26 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Alty View Post
    Is that the case?
    Yes I do trust him. I do have bad anxiety. In a past relationship I was cheated on when I was engaged and 7 months pregnant. I feel like that ruined me. I really don't want to push him away. Is just really bothers me thinking of him seeing naked girls. I know that if I went to a bachulerette party he wouldn't want me to look and guys striping. I just think its wrong in general.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #4

    Apr 27, 2013, 02:32 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Heathbaby4 View Post
    Yes I do trust him. I do have bad anxiety. In a past relationship I was cheated on when I was engaged and 7 months pregnant. I feel like that ruined me. I really don't want to push him away. Is just really bothers me thinking of him seeing naked girls. I know that if I went to a bachulerette party he wouldn't want me to look and guys striping. I just think its wrong in general.
    Have you told him how you feel? Are you being realistic about how you feel, or is this all stemming from your past, not the present?

    Yes, you were cheated on, and that sucks. But you are pushing away this guy because of something another guy did. That's really not fair to this guy. Is it?

    If you have issues because of past experiences, you need to find a way to work through those issues. If you continue treating this guy the way you're treating him, because of something someone else did to you, like it or not, you will push him away.

    Seeing a naked women at a strip club isn't the real issue here. You're just not admitting to yourself that the issue is one of trust. You don't trust him. You want to, but you don't, because of what happened before.

    He's not your ex. Stop making him pay for your ex's mistakes.

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