[LittleBlackKat]

Hello everyone, I hope all is well. I know I barely posted on this forum not even a week ago, so I sincerely apologize to pop up again so soon, but life IS kind of funny in that regard.

Anyway, last summer I posted a question about this man I nearly was romantically involved with who had a controlling/abusive ex, and a daughter *who is now almost a year old today* just to make things clear, I am 22 and so is he, and I also am NOT trying to get involved with him yet again. Just so we're clear. I have learned my lesson in the past and this is more or less a question posted as a means to me gaining closure.

Monday night, the man I mentioned above randomly messaged me on my business account on Facebook, which I found strange because I blocked him on my regular account, and only have 3 friends in mutual with him on my business account. So how he found me out of the blue after nearly a year disturbs me. However, before I responded to his message which literally was this : how have you been?

I talked to a male friend of his and mine in mutual that we grew up with and he told me since I left him he has not been the same. For one: he stopped laughing and smiling as often as he did when I was with him, second, his parents are harder on him, his ex won't let him see his child, and he keeps asking the friend in mutual about how I am doing.

My question is, why is he randomly messaging me? I know it may be just to ask how I am, which is nice, but why would he message me if he can ask the friend in mutual? And our conversation just was very civil, but friendly. I told him I was fine, and asked how his daughter was, he said : thank you very kindly, she is very well.
I told him I was glad to hear it and I hope everything is well and again he responded with : Thank you so much I hope for the same for you!

This is a bit not like him. I grew up with him, and he's not one to reach out as much and be so emotional. Even the friend in mutual has no real answer as to why he is this way lately.

Just to clear on something else again: I left him because I didn't want to get involved in his baby momma's drama (she literally just wants to see him miserable and won't approve of ANY female he wants to see; me or otherwise), and I thought that if I left him, it would prove to him that I cared about him enough not to cause troubles. "If you love him, let him go" was my rational. Plus I was a tad scared because he told me he loved me barely after 3 months of us seriously reconnecting and if anyone can view my older posts/threads, you can deduce that I've been hurt a LOT in the relationship department, and I do NOT love and trust easily. So he scared me off in that sense because I thought he was not sincere and was just trying to get me involved as a step mother for his daughter (which I found out was NOT the case).

Sorry to stretch this out so much. Any input would be deeply appreciated and taken strongly to heart and mind.

Thank you everyone for all your help!

[joypulv]

'My question is, why is he randomly messaging me?'

I don't see that as random. I see it as a guarded overture. But we strangers can only guess, and your mutual friend would know more. Your next step (if you want to know more about his relationship with his ex) would be to ask him in an equally guarded way if things have changed or not.